The chaos a dark rocksta.., p.1
The Chaos: A Dark Rockstar Romance, page 1
H. Vesterbak
The Chaos
The Austin Series
Book 4
Steam Books
The Chaos — The Austin Series Book 4
H. Vesterbak
Copyright © H. Vesterbak 2024 & Steam Books ApS 2024
Translated by Catrine Bollerslev
Cover: Mette Hammerich Caserta / Adobe Stock
All rights reserved
ISBN: 9788785238801
Format: Epub 3.0
1st ebook edition
The novel is fictional and all names, locations, etc. are made up by the author. If there is any resemblance to people or real-life events, it is purely coincidental. Copying this book may only take place at institutions that have an agreement with Copy-Dan and only within the framework specified in the agreement. It is allowed to bring short excerpts in connection with the reviews by prior agreement with the publisher.
www.steambooks.dk
The Austin Series
HEIDI’S STORY
Book 1: The Chase
Book 2: The Catch
Book 3: The Claim
Book 4: The Chaos
Book 5: The Chance
Book 6: The Curve
Book 7: The Climax
Author’s note
This is no sappy romance story. This is a dark romance rock star series containing intense emotions and rough sex scenes with lots and lots of dominance.
If reading about a female protagonist meeting an alpha male with a dirty mouth and a dark mind (and a soft spot for our heroine) is for you, then you picked up the right series.
Trigger warnings: The series contains triggers such as childhood neglect/trauma, drug/alcohol use, dubious consent, graphic violence, infidelity (not between main characters), mental health issues, and suicide.
For readers 18+ only.
Chapter 1
Such a huge, goddamn mess!
Tuesday, July 8 · Austin, Texas
“Hey, wake up.”
I hear John’s voice and feel his hand squeezing my shoulder.
“Wake up, Heidi.” He kisses my neck and cups one of my breasts in his hand.
“What?” I answer groggily, not entirely sure what’s happening.
“I wanna have sex with you, and apparently, I need permission,” he says. He sighs dramatically and presses his body against mine, so I can feel how hard he is.
That’s one way to wake someone up. Quietly, I laugh at him. He really is something else, but at least he’s asking this time. Good God, was I drunk last night. My mouth is dry, my head aches, and my lower body feels like something’s weighing down on it. Why on earth is that? Do I need to pee? Probably.
“Heidi!” John blurts out impatiently. “Hello? I’m tired of waiting.”
“Alright, calm down! How long have you been awake?” I say sharply, at the same time failing to suppress a laugh.
“Ten minutes or something like that. You were fast asleep!”
“What a dramatic wake-up call. Give me two minutes, man.” I get out of bed and head toward the bathroom.
“Where are you going? Do you have to pee again?”
“Mind your own business, John!”
I splash some water in my face and pee. My lower body still feels pressured. Almost like … almost like I’m the luckiest fool on the planet. Just as suspected, the blood is there when I wipe myself. I’m not pregnant! What kind of next-level luck is this? All that unprotected sex and still – no pregnancy! Hallelujah!
Good thing I’ve brought toiletries with me. John’s bathroom isn’t exactly equipped to handle this. Oh, but how will he take this – that sex is off the table? But there’s nothing I can do about it, so he’ll just have to deal with it. I walk back into the bedroom, eyes glued to the floor. Involving him in this is one of the last things I want to do. I can’t believe I have to do it.
“John, it’ll have to wait,” I say, apologetically throwing my arm out to the side.
“Wait?”
“Yeah, we can’t have sex right now.”
“Shark week?”
Wow, nice one, John. But at least he caught on quickly.
“Yes,” I answer, blood rushing to my face.
“Well, that had to come sooner or later,” he says. He seems far less annoyed than I’d feared he’d be.
“I mean, considering what we’ve been doing, I don’t know …”
“Are you in pain?” he asks, ignoring my comment.
Why’s he asking about pain? It doesn’t exactly seem like he’s asking out of concern for me.
“Yeah, a little. But you don’t need to ask me about it, John,” I answer dismissively and start putting on clothes. I really don’t want to have any sort of conversation with him about this.
“So you’re closed for business?”
I send him a sharp look. I can’t believe the audacity. He lifts both hands defensively when he sees the look on my face.
“At least I asked … right, Heidi?” he asks with a smirk on his face, making me laugh in spite of the fact that I can feel the bad mood brewing beneath the surface. But thankfully I’m not pregnant! I can’t believe my luck. My completely indescribable and undeserved luck.
***
After breakfast, I head home to change again. Today, is the coldest day since I got here, and I decide to take advantage of the change in weather by putting on a pair of jeans Christopher found for me. They’re black, soft, and incredibly body-hugging. I find a dark red, sleeveless top to go with them. It has quite a deep cut that just might drive John crazy, but it goes so well with the jeans, and Christopher’s even found some amazing, dark red shoes to go with it, so it’d almost be rude not to wear it.
I start off the day in the control room, checking John’s e-mails on his laptop. He’s the only one out of the three of them happy to leave his inbox in my control. He can’t be bothered to sit and respond to – or even read – the 100-150 e-mails rolling in every day. I’ve started to get the hang of which e-mails he needs to have a look at, and which e-mails I should just go ahead and delete. Every once in a while there’s a long love letter or some pretty explicit photos from a fan who’s managed to dig up his private e-mail. Some of them, I delete. Some of them, I show him. Thankfully, they only interest him if they’re absurd or downright laughable, to the extent where he feels the need to show Ben and Mason. Poor girls. If only they knew how the guys speak about them. Ben and Mason have their e-mails under control. Good thing too, otherwise I’d be spending a ridiculous amount of time reading e-mails every single day.
***
“Heidi, Edith says I need a haircut before the show tomorrow. Call my hairdresser. She’s listed under Deborah Hayes,” John says, handing me his phone. His eyes wander down to my cleavage, and he smiles and shakes his head without even catching my eyes. I wonder if I should go change. It’s not fair of me.
“Oooh, Debbie! I wanna be there when you’re getting your hair cut. But don’t tell Gwen,” Mason says with a suggestive twinkle in his eye. He stops messing with his computer.
Ah, so apparently Deborah’s hot. I’m already beyond annoyed. It really doesn’t take a lot today.
“Yeah, you always did have a good eye for her,” John says, careful not to reveal his personal opinion of her.
“She’s such a MILF! Seriously!” Mason adds.
Ben leans back in one of the armchairs with a large cup of coffee in his hand, smiling widely. He’s obviously excited to see Deborah too. Of course John’s hairdresser is super hot. As if it could be any other way. I ignore their conversation to stop myself from getting too annoyed, instead scrolling through John’s contacts to find her and set up the cut. I try – and fail – to reach her several times, eventually punching her number into my own phone, so John can have his back.
“I couldn’t reach her, but I’ll keep trying.”
I leave to fetch breakfast for John who went straight to the studio on an empty stomach. Immediately after, the day begins to pick up speed. I talk to Clarke, one of the “Wake Up Texas” employees, a couple of times. We talk about what the guys are going to need before, during, and after the show tomorrow. The second time he calls, it’s to inform me that the producers have decided to have the show outside. I let the guys know first, then the sound engineers, and finally Edith, so she knows to take that into consideration when styling them. I call Deborah a couple of times, with no luck.
When I get back to the control room, Ben’s spilled coffee all over the jeans he was planning to wear for the show, and Wyatt’s trying to explain to the guys that fans have been posting on their Facebook page, hoping to hear a new single tomorrow, which, of course, sparks a discussion about which number to cut out and what to replace it with. After lengthy heated discussion, the guys decide to replace “Keeps Me Close” with “Circles” – mainly because John was too stubborn to budge. Afterwards, Will, Melanie, and I head into the city to have Ben’s jeans cleaned and pick up supplies for tomorrow.
As I’m standing at the dry cleaner’s, waiting for Ben’s jeans to be cleaned, I manage to get a hold of Deborah. She’s at the ER with her son, so she can’t make it to Boulder Creek today. She seems genuinely upset to turn me down and, to my disappointment, she sounds like an absolute sweetheart. You can practically hear how pretty she is just from her mild, feminine voice. How annoying. I call John to find out what Plan B is.
“Hey, beautiful.”
“I sincerely hope nobody’s around to hear you gr
“What’s up, grumpy? Better?”
I sigh loudly.
“I got a hold of Deborah. She can’t make it to Boulder Creek today, because she’s at the ER with her son. Something about a broken ankle and baseball. Is there anyone else I can call?”
He sighs in resignation.
“No, it has to be her. I don’t have time to go anywhere, and she usually just comes to me.”
“I’m sure I could get another hairdresser to stop by. It’s just a question of money and dropping your name when I make the call.”
“I just can’t be bothered with a new hairdresser. They always ask so many goddamn questions. Deborah’s great and quiet!”
Alright, okay, Deborah’s a gift to mankind, we get it!
“What if I find another hairdresser willing to come by and to keep their mouth shut?” I ask surprisingly seriously, given how ridiculous it sounds. I really want to solve this problem for him.
“Fuck it. Forget about it, I’ll just wear my hat. Edith’s gonna have to accept that.”
“Cut it out. How short do you want it? Are we talking a bit off the ends or an entirely new style?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Because if you just need a bit off the ends, I can do it for you. I can cut your hair. I can’t style it differently, but I’m more than capable of cutting it shorter in the same style. I know your hairstyle pretty well.”
He falls quiet on the other end. I can practically hear him smile.
“Have you done it before?”
“Plenty of times. When I’ve cut … you know who’s hair.”
“Aha. Yeah, I know who you mean,” he says, somewhat annoyed. “Okay, H. Then you’ll cut my hair later today, alright?”
“Deal,” I say, smiling. The trust he places in me makes me so happy.
“What a talented PA we have.”
“We’ll have to wait and see if I can keep my mouth shut,” I laugh.
“If not, I know how to make you shut up.”
“Seriously, tell me no one can hear you.”
“Calm down, Heidi. Oh and bring back some sandwiches from Fricano’s. Will knows where it is. They have some vegetarian stuff too. Okay?”
“You got it.”
My stomach hurts, and I’m annoyed, but John’s just managed to make me happy in more ways than one. I’ll get to touch him and be alone with him later on without it being about sex. And I love that he remembers that I don’t eat meat and always takes it into consideration.
***
When I get back to Boulder Creek Lodge, John’s alone in the control room. He’s practicing “Riot” and flashes me a smile when I put the bag of sandwiches down on the table.
“Where are the others?”
“Ben’s at the dentist. He chipped a tooth. Mason’s in the can or something. What do I know?” he asks, flicking his hand out to the side.
“Ben’s not having a great day, huh? First his pants and now this. How’d he chip a tooth?”
John shoots me a knowing look and shakes his hand somewhat arrogantly.
“Did you fight while I was away?”
“He was provoking me.”
“For crying out loud! Don’t you have an agreement about not hitting each other in the face? And you go and break that the day before a show?” I sit down next to him.
“Yeah, but he can go ahead and consider it payback. I don’t give a shit.”
“What did you fight about?”
“Everything. Nothing. The usual. He just needed a beating.”
“And you don’t?” I ask sharply.
“Watch it now. You’re at the top of my list of people who need to be put in their place,” he answers. He puts down his guitar as if to say that he’s ready to put me in my place right now, if need be.
“So now I am on your list of people who need to be smacked around?” I ask spitefully.
“No, Heidi. We’ve had this conversation already. If you don’t behave, what you need is something else entirely.” He squeezes my thigh and locks eyes with me.
“If you say so. But it’ll have to wait.” I move his hand away.
“So you say,” he says dryly.
What is that supposed to mean? Does he want to have sex with me in spite of my period? This morning, too, with his “closed for business?” You bet your ass I’m closed for business!
I grimace as my lower body cramps up, and I pull my thighs toward my stomach.
“What’s up?”
“Nothing, it just hurts.”
“So take a painkiller.” He shoots me a concerned look.
“No, I don’t want to.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t exactly have a great relationship with pills. I’d rather not take them unless absolutely necessary.”
“Fine. What can I do to help?”
I pull myself together enough to smile at him. That was sweet.
“Nothing, really. But thank you.”
“At least smoke some weed. It helps.” He pats his pockets, pulls out a silver case from one of them, opens it, and pulls out a joint.
“I can’t smoke right now. I have to be sharp tomorrow.”
“I’m not telling you to smoke an entire joint, Heidi. Take a drag or two. You know weed doubles as a painkiller, right? Improves your mood too. And trust me, we’d all be better off.”
I look at him defiantly and watch him as he raises the joint to his mouth in order to light it.
“I don’t wanna smoke right now! Listen to me. I can’t be walking around high in the middle of the afternoon. And I have to cut your hair later!”
“You won’t get high off a couple of drags. Here!” He tries to pass the joint to me after taking a toke himself.
“No.” I ignore the joint. There’s no way in hell I’m smoking right now when I have to give him a haircut later. Just imagine I messed up his hair.
“You know how I feel about you saying no to me,” he says with a note of dissatisfaction as he leans toward me.
“Yes, I know. But this has nothing to do with sex. I’m just doing my job. Or I would be if you’d let me,” I answer crossly, although I’m undeniably affected by how close he is to me. He smells amazing, and I wish he’d just kiss me. Now that would make things better!
“Everything has something to do with sex,” he answers, grabbing my shoulders. He presses me down on the couch and seats himself between my legs, placing one hand on my chest to keep me pinned down.
“Stop it, John! What if Mason’s on his way back? This looks so wrong. Get off!” I say, using both arms to try to pry his one hand off me, but it’s no use. He’s too strong.
“What if I don’t care? What if I just think we should tell them?”
I sincerely hope he isn’t serious, because I know that once he’s made up his mind, there’s just about nothing I can say to make him change it.
“Well, I don’t think we should. And you can’t make that decision without including me.”
“I can do whatever I want,” he says, taking another drag of the joint as he looks down at me decisively.
Suddenly, the door to the control room opens and, to my horror, I see Mason walk in. John’s still sitting between my legs and pinning me down on the couch. Mason smiles in surprise and slight confusion at the sight, and it sends chills down my spine.
“What are you guys up to?” he asks mockingly. He loves catching people red-handed and making their lives miserable with it, so this is an opportune moment for him.
“Heidi’s being a PMSing sourpuss and refusing to do as she’s told,” John answers coolly and stays put, revealing no intention of getting off me.
Oh my God! He’s being such a jerk! But at least he didn’t tell Mason about us like he just threatened he would, and I suppose this all seems less suspicious given that he didn’t even flinch when Mason walked in. Good thing I’m wearing jeans for once. If I’d been in a dress like I usually am, it would’ve been up by my hips right now, and that probably wouldn’t have helped our case in the slightest.
