Somewhere in the world, a genius builds a machine to bring mankind closer to God. Somewhere in time, another genius builds a cathedral with a mind of its own. Somewhere on the road, three searchers race a serial killer to find the man with the key to salvation. It takes the sound and fury of Day 9 to bring them all together. If God took six days to make the world and rested on Day 7, humanity has spent Day 8 tearing it all apart. Everything changes on Day 9, when we get it right at any cost...or lose everything. On Day 9, a God's-eye view of the world collides with the visions of a living, breathing cathedral in a war between the delusions of yesterday and the dreams of tomorrow. A war between beauty and mediocrity...love and hate...madness and sanity...life and death. If the unlikely heroes in the heart of the storm can't face down their own demons, the deepest secrets of maniacs and murderers could bring the hope of the future crashing down forever. Don't miss this edgy,...

From the dizzying heights of a soaring imagination come 50-plus poems—some old school, some new school, some so far "out there" that you've never seen anything like them and probably never will again. (Check out "The Last Night of the Last Bokey-Bokey on Earth" or "The Day After They Rounded Up Everyone Who Could Love Unconditionally.") This collection includes poems, stoems, prosems, tweetems—whatever it takes to give your mind wings and make it take flight. In medicine, a "flight of ideas" signifies a rush of free-flowing thoughts and speech. It's the perfect title for this dazzling book from award-winning poet and storyteller Robert T. Jeschonek, a master of the unpredictable in theme, style, and expression—a truly unique voice. Simon & Schuster, DAW Books, and DC Comics have published his work. His young adult urban fantasy novel, My Favorite ...

If you love spaced-out treks, this is your chance to own a galaxy of them in one giant collection. For the first time anywhere, you can buy the entire Trek It! series by award-winning Star Trek author Robert T. Jeschonek in one omnibus edition. Trek It! includes all seven volumes in the series for one great price: Trek This!, Trek Off!, Trek Fail!, Trek Script!, Trek Script 2, Trek Novel!, and Trek You! This omnibus edition also includes EXCLUSIVE BONUS MATERIAL that you won't find anywhere else! Trek It! covers the full Trek career of Robert T. Jeschonek, who won the Grand Prize in the Strange New Worlds competition and wrote official Star Trek fiction in the realms of the original series, The Next Generation, Voyager, and even New Frontier. Enjoy a universe of articles, behind-the-scenes tales, TV scripts, short stories, an online serial, and a novel, all celebrating a starry...

Jonah Ivory has a family tree crawling with vampires. Guided by the sexy paranormal genealogist Stanza Miracolo, he must dig up his family's twisted roots to crack an ancient conspiracy and beat the forces of darkness to a lost paradise. As Stanza traces Jonah's undead family tree, she brings him and his cousin Mavis face to face with one vampire ancestor after another. In a wild hunt around the world, they search for the shocking answers to an ancient mystery, all while fighting for their lives against bloodsucking enemies who attack from the shadows. Even with a vampiric Shakespeare and King Arthur on their side, can Stanza and Jonah win an eternal war between ancestors and descendants for possession of a heaven stolen by sin? Can Jonah redeem his own sins of the past and save the brothers he lost long ago to the forces of darkness? Will his love for Stanza lead to ...

Virtual reality e-representatives form a more perfect union in a future America of a hundred states. Until someone reaches into the computerized Congress and murders them one by one. Only Nevada, the e-rep sergeant-at-arms with a shadowy past, stands a chance of tracking the killer. But the trail grows deadlier with every step Nevada takes. America's digitized government might rule from a virtual Capitol, but e-blood runs thick in the hallowed halls. When the killing stops, will Nevada make America's high tech tomorrow safe for e-democracy? Or will a terrible secret pull the trigger on a nation's hopes and dreams? Only "Acirema the Rellik" knows for sure.

Reader beware! This story has a warning in the title for a reason. Dare to ignore it, and you'll be sorry. You might find it sticks in your head in ways you won't like, making you do things you'll regret. One thing's for sure: it will change your life for the worse if you let it. Do yourself a favor and pass this one by; save your money for the latest harmless trifle that you won't lose any sleep over. If you're foolhardy enough to read this anyway, you'll have no one to blame but yourself for what happens to you. An unhappy ending is guaranteed...though rumor has it that a pair of would-be mystic problem solvers might have forced their way in and neutered this sick saga. Is it worth risking everything to read it and find out? Only if the height of stupidity is your middle name! Because if you get inside, and the story isn't neutered after all, it'll be too late to save your sorry butt. So consider yourself warned! They call this a "dark fantasy," but it's way too real and...

A new master of dreams rules the night, battling nightmares from beyond the edge of reality! A new Mr. Sandman for the 21st Century, the godlike Dream Lord keeps the Dream Zone safe from the terrors of the night. But when the Bogeyman strikes, Dream Lord meets his greatest enemy, a force of evil determined to turn all existence into a nightmare from which no one will ever awaken. Dream Lord declares war, but Bogeyman buries him under the weight of his own secrets. Can Dream Lord overcome his own dark past to redeem his tragic soul and become the true hero and legend he needs to be? Can he triumph over Bogeyman and make the Dream Zone save for humanity? As the sins of his past bring Dream Lord to his knees, an unexpected ally from the razor's edge of sanity could be the only hope for his future. Don't miss this exciting graphic novel script by award-winning storyteller and DC Comics writer Robert T. Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected superhero adventures that really...

Who's the grossest kid in the world? Tommy Puke, that's who! He fights off bullies with his mighty loogies...conquers jerks with his powerful farts...and sticks up for his pet skunk by driving off wild dogs with his blistering bad breath. What happens when he takes his new friend, Josh, on an epic quest to find the fabled prince of vomit, who might just be Tommy's brother? Action, laughs, and more disgusting gross-outs than you can shake a booger at! Will Tommy and Josh find the prince, otherwise known as the Boy with the Golden Barf? Will his golden barf make them rich? Will he welcome Tommy Puke to the family? Or will Tommy and Josh find themselves in over their heads in the sewer in a deadly battle with the only person more stomach-turning than Tommy? One thing is for sure: the puke, boogers, loogies, poop, and goop will fly! And Josh must gain the power of the secret Eighth Emanation—a magic bodily fluid far grosser than any known to mankind—to stand a chance...

All-out war engulfs a distant quadrant of space. Hardcore warriors clash in high tech Battlenaut armor, pitting the ultimate fighting machines in epic struggles on a planetary scale. In the heart of this raging hell, the sleep-deprived Redeye squad fights harder than anyone. Pumped up on drugs, wired to the max, the Redeyes tear through enemy forces like berserk Vikings. But fatigue takes a toll, as the Redeyes start to see things that don't exist. And something that might exist after all—a terrible harbinger of doom, a legendary herald of the end of all things. Does the Black Battlenaut truly tower over the blood-soaked war zone? Is it a nightmare brought on by exhaustion, or an omen of infinite devastation? Either way, the Redeyes set out to stop it by any means necessary...even if their private war requires the ultimate sacrifice and more. Don't miss this ...

Meet a kid so bad, he gets a lump of coal every Christmas...and likes it! Neighborhood bully Buzz Scanlan takes pride in his annual lump, which he sees as a black badge of badness. But this Christmas, when the coal doesn't come, the ten-year-old holy terror becomes a bad boy on a mission. He roams from one victim of his wicked mischief to the next, digging for dirt on the one nice thing he must have done to deserve no coal for Christmas. When everyone agrees he's been nothing but naughty, he nearly gives up the hunt...until he stumbles onto the shocking truth behind his lumps of coal, an incredible secret that just might change his life forever. Will Buzz get his lump after all, sealing his fate as the ultimate bully? Or will solving the mystery lead to a fate worse than death for the naughtiest boy, an unexpected good deed that breaks his not-nice record? After this ...

Hardcore adventurer Sir Algernon Hogshead takes down badass steampunks in Victorian London. But the case of a lifetime might just ruin his winning streak and his life. When his wife starts keeping mysterious secrets and bad company, Sir Hogshead craves a peek behind the velvet curtain. But he can't possibly break through the world of women...or can he? Sparks fly when this manliest man crosses the line and takes on the undercover assignment he never imagined. Will a dress and corset enable a pulp action hero to blow the lid off a female threat without blowing his cover? Or will the terrible truth behind his wife's betrayal mean a horrifying ordeal for the man behind the disguise? Sometimes, the most awful surprises can lurk behind the most ridiculous outfits.

Joe the small-town pot dealer is down on his luck. Broke, evicted, and framed for a rip-off he didn't commit, he loses everything, from his precious stash to his jerk of a best friend. It's time to turn over a new leaf or get smoked. But can Joe clean up his act, get a job, and keep a girlfriend without falling back into his old habits? Can he replace getting high with getting a higher purpose in life? Sweet dreams of the sweet leaf might just seduce him back to his chronic old ways. Don't miss this tale by award-winning storyteller Robert T. Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected fiction. His stories have appeared in books, magazines, websites, and podcasts around the world. He won the national grand prize in the Strange New Worlds writing contest from Pocket Books. DC Comics, Simon & Schuster, and DAW Books have published his work. His young adult novel, My Favorite Band Does Not Exist, is now available from Clarion Books/Houghton Mifflin Harcourt and was...

The alien Ectozoids can't bear to kill, and their enemies are out for blood. Who better than Earth's top serial killer, Luther Paraclete, to awaken their killer instincts? How was he to know they'd turn into such eager students? When a planet of peace becomes a blood-soaked nightmare, does the greatest serial killer in the universe have a chance in hell of surviving?

Judd the popular 17-year-old jock has it all figured out. He's the star of his school, the top of the heap...but then the world starts changing around him and won't stop. Without explanation, everyone turns into purple furries...then gas-blasting puffballs...then neurotic lizards. Every time Judd falls asleep, he wakes up in a new and crazier world--a world of godlike super-teens, teenage serial killers, duck people, nudists, monsters, and more. It's like a twisted video game without rhyme or reason. The rules never stop changing, and the only thing he can depend on is his talking pinky finger with a major attitude. Together, he and Pinkerton (the finger prefers the name "Killdigit!") fight through the parade of crazy realities, seeking a way to get back to normal. But what if normal just isn't an option anymore? Don't miss this wild fantasy by the award-winning author of My Favorite Band Does Not Exist, which won the Forward National Literature Award and...

The Red Battlenauts show no mercy. Roaring out of the darkness of deep space, these ultra-high tech war machines pound the hell out of both sides in a bloody interstellar civil war. No one can even SEE the Reds—no one except Marine Corporal Solomon Scott. Recruited by the hardcore SEAL-like Diamondbacks, Scott becomes a secret weapon in the ultimate struggle for survival. In battle after battle on perilous alien worlds, Scott and the Diamondbacks fight back against the ruthless Reds, desperately holding the line in furious clashes of muscle and metal. But when a face from the past exposes the secrets behind the carnage, a quest for answers becomes a race against time. Because the masters of the Red Battlenauts have more on their minds than a thirst for conquest...and only Solomon Scott can hope to stand against them. In the galaxy's darkest hour, the highest stakes imaginable drive this hero in Battlenaut armor to seize his destiny. But can he overcome a soul-searing...