Board Stiff

      Piers Anthony
Board Stiff

Be careful what you wish for...

"I'm actually a smart girl who would make any man an excellent wife. But no man sees that. No man is interested in my mind or personality, just my whatevers. So here is my wish: I'm board stiff. I want Adventure, Excitement, and Romance.”

So begins Piers Anthony's 38th Xanth novel, in which Irrelevant Candy, looks at her reflection in the water of the shallow well and sees luxuriant midnight black hair to her breathtakingly slender waist, matching dark eyes in a lovely face. A torso coming yea-close to absolute perfection. She was man's desire. That was part of the problem.

And in the shallow magic of a wishing well, she asks her wish to be granted. Something happens. A sudden whirlwind surrounds her, lifting her up and ripping off her clothing. She is changing, somehow. Then she falls flat on the ground.

Literally. She has been transformed into a flat, stiff board with two knotholes for eyes.

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    Castle Roogna

      Piers Anthony
Castle Roogna

Millie, a ghost for 800 years wants only one man--Jonathan, and he's a zombie. To prove himself, Magician Dor volunteers to get the potion that can restore Jonathan to full life. But he has to go back through time to do it, to a peril-haunted, ancient Xanth, where danger lurks at every turn....

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    Balook

      Piers Anthony
Balook

He was the largest land mammal of perhistoric times--a rhino. Now computers and genetic engineering have brought one of these magnificent creatures back to life and into the life of a boy named Thor. This moving and suspenseful tale will enchant readers, and offer an irresistible reminder of the bond between the creatures of the wild and the child that lives within us all.

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    Man From Mundania

      Piers Anthony
Man From Mundania

For a bored, young princess of Xanth, there's nothing more exciting than a Quest. Especially when all you do is sit around Castle Roogna. But when Ivy uses the Heaven Cent, it takes her not to the top of Mount Rushmost, where the winged monsters gather, not to the sea where the merfolk swim--but to Mundania, a world much like our own (that is, boring). It is here that she meets a young college student so dull that he doesn't even believe in magic, or princesses, or Xanth!

Does he have a lot to learn.

The thrilling climax to the trilogy started in Vale of the Vole and continued in Heaven Cent.

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    Mouvar's Magic

      Piers Anthony
Mouvar's Magic

The mysterious prophecy that has shaped the life of Kelvin Knight Hackleberry and his family seems nearly to have run its course. The Two Kingdoms that were joined by Kelvin to form Kelvinia have now been united with three others, to make a great confederation under the rule of the young twin kings, Kildom and Kildee. Kelvin has earned some time to rest with his family. Charles and Merlain are now twenty years old, and so is Dragon Horace, their brother who is the Great King of all the land.

But the clouds of the last battle are gathering. The evil Professor DeVale and his witch servant Zady had been foiled in their attempt to destroy Kelvin by using his children--their evil plot has led to a stronger, more peaceful land under its rightful rulers. Now they will try one last time to pervert all that is good in the universe of the frames--and although the Prophecy of Mouvar has been accurate up to now, still there is a chance that evil will prevail.

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    Serial

      Piers Anthony
Serial

Militia, a beautiful female criminal, targeting prominent men. But when she goes after Newton Oswald she is a fly entering the spider’s lair. For Oswald is himself a criminal, of a more serious nature than she. He and his former victim Maria see Militia coming, as it were.

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    The Sopaths

      Piers Anthony
The Sopaths

Killing children is an ugly business, but the alternative is so much uglier. Abner Slate just watched his five-year-old daughter, Olive, kill his wife and son. Olive is a sopath. Born without souls, sopaths are children who will lie, cheat, rape, and murder to get what they want. There's one in every family these days, destroying America's heartland from within. After murdering his daughter in self-defense, Abner is taken in by a secret network of sopath victims called Pariah. Through Pariah, he meets other sopath victims who band together to form a temporary nuclear family. But the sopath threat is getting worse, and soon their quaint little neighborhood is overrun by murderous, drug-running children. Now, on a mission for Pariah, Abner and his makeshift family must travel across the country to a mysterious town that contains a secret powerful enough to stop the sopath crisis. Instead, they find the most seductive and ruthless sopath of all. Her name is Autopsy, and she would like to add Abner to her slave collection. The old morality is dead. Now the sopaths will stalk the earth.

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    Chthon

      Piers Anthony
Chthon

Chthon was Piers Anthony’s first published novel in 1967, written over the course of seven years. He started it when he was in the US Army, so it has a long prison sequence that is reminiscent of that experience, being dark and grim. It features Aton Five, a space man who commits the crime of falling in love with the dangerous alluring Minionette and is therefore condemned to death in the subterranean prison of Chthon. It uses flashbacks to show how he came to know the Minionette, and flashforwards to show how he dealt with her after his escape from prison. The author regards this as perhaps the most intricately structured novel the science fantasy genre has seen. It was a contender for awards, but not a winner.

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    Dragon on a Pedestal

      Piers Anthony
Dragon on a Pedestal

There is trouble in Xanth again. The Gap Dragon had escaped and was ravaging across the land, the forget-spell was causing mass amnesia, three-year-old Ivy was headed right for a hungry dragon. Could things get any worse? Probably....

From the Paperback edition.

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    Beetle Juice

      Piers Anthony
Beetle Juice

Welcome back to the universe-spanning realm of the Amoeba, where harmony is entrusted to an unlikely group of heroes, and where, when the ordinary no longer applies, the extraordinary comes into play. Tod Timmonds and his sexy team of outcasts are joined on this mission by a charming were-unicorn, Wetzel, whose special skills are as impressive and imperative to the mission’s success as his sexual prowess and personal quest to find the ultimate virgin. The new reincarnation of the team must navigate a trail that leads to new worlds and demands they placate the urgings of a variety of friends and foes of various species before they can restore the balance and the universal justice the great Amoeba seeks. 

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    E. S. P. Worm

      Piers Anthony
E. S. P. Worm

The cast of cosmic characters: A prodigal worm, a telepathic, egotistical, totally unscrupulous little alien running away from his father becomes the biggest prize in the universe. Capture the slimy brat and win an entire planet! A cosmic hustler, an effete snob who ekes out a comfortable living as the president's son-in-law and perfects his reflexes with endless contests of cosmic pool, becomes the most important element in a delicate game of interspatial espionage—and the galaxy's prime target for assassination. The most sensual woman on Earth, completes the star-crossed triangle in one of the wildest, wickedest romps in the annals of science fiction!

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    Letters to Jenny

      Piers Anthony
Letters to Jenny

In February 1989, science fiction writer Piers Anthony, author of the Xanth series, received a moving letter. It came from a woman whose daughter, Jenny, was in a coma as a result of severe injuries caused by a drunk driver. She asked Anthony to write to Jenny, an avid fan of his, in the hope that a letter from him would evoke some response. Her request resulted in a series of warm, supportive, and humorous letters written weekly from Anthony to Jenny. These were read to the patient by her mother.

The original letters Anthony wrote between February 1989 and 1990, reproduced here along with Anthony’s comments, reveal the author’s wit, humanism, and social conscience.

Jenny has come out of her coma, but is still confined to a wheelchair. Anthony also named a character in his next Xanth novel after Jenny, whose limited but definite physical responses to his letters indicated how important they were to her.

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    Golem in the Gears

      Piers Anthony
Golem in the Gears

Grundy Golem got no respect. So, to prove himself, he volunteered for a quest to find the long-lost dragon, Stanley Steamer. On the way, he somehow manages to free a damsel in distress-- but not without incurring the wrath of the Sea Hag in the process. And when it comes to avenging herself on Grundy, the Sea Hag will never give up....

From the Paperback edition.

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    Pandora Park

      Piers Anthony
Pandora Park

In Albany, New York, Mark hates getting dumped at the mall park while his mom shops. It’s so embarrassing! But Mark quickly changes his mind after he discovers a mysterious path leading to a magical forest.

In Bejing, China, Kelsie finds a similar path, and somehow, she meets Mark in the same magical world!

Now the two friends must work together to unravel the origins of Pandora Park. This wild adventure crosses the globe and is packed with magical powers, dragons, talking unicorns, candy trees, on a roller coaster ride that never stops.

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    Heaven Cent

      Piers Anthony
Heaven Cent

In the mind of Xanth's precious shapeshifting Prince Dolph, the perfect way to see the world is to search for the missing sorcerer, Humfrey. Setting off with his faithful companion, Marrow, an enchanted skeleton, Dolph will penetrate an island of illusion, escape a goblin kingdom, outwit a husband-hungry mermaid, save Marrow from bone-starved harpies, and find romance with a slinky snake princess--all on his way to discovering a magic coin with all the answers!

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    The Metal Maiden Collection

      Piers Anthony
The Metal Maiden Collection

Four novellas in one volume—the thrilling science fiction saga of a female robot who becomes sentient and fights to save humanity from destruction.

With nearly two hundred published works and more than twenty New York Times bestsellers to his credit, Piers Anthony is without a doubt one of the most prolific and creative authors in science fiction and fantasy. Among his most ingenious literary creations are the four books of his remarkable Metal Maiden saga, collected here in one volume: the breathtaking tale of Elasa, the fembot who desires nothing more than to be human.

In “To Be a Woman” we meet Elasa, who is perfect in every way—a female machine created for pleasure, whose newborn consciousness makes her strive for more. The story moves to a distant colony planet in “Shepherd,” in which a young man participating in a student exchange program finds himself in another body and suddenly the caretaker of a herd of telepathic and eminently wise sheep. “Flytrap” brings Elasa’s friend Mona to the colony in the body of a pregnant woman, through which she learns that her work with a young precognitive lamb could have a major impact on more than one existence and more than one world. Finally, in “Awares,” Elasa must work closely with a unique group of environmentally attuned beings in order to protect the earth from an onslaught of gigantic, world-devouring extraterrestrial maggots.

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    The Color of Her Panties

      Piers Anthony
The Color of Her Panties

We See England, We See Xanth, We See Mels's UnderpanthIn fact, Gwenny Goblin, Che Centaur and Jenny Elf are just about the only creatures on Xanth who have been spared the sight of Mela Merwoman's undergarment -- preoccupied as they are with helping Gwenny beat out her awful half-brother Gobble for chiefship of the goblin horde. But first they must master space and thyme . . . and find the fabulous egg that sits between the Roc and the hard place. While Mela -- who would gladly relinquish her oft-viewed undies for a new husband -- joins the Adult Conspiracy . . . and quickly discovers the power of a perfect pair of panties!

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    Zombie Lover

      Piers Anthony
Zombie Lover

Horrors and Hilarity Collide as a Vivacious Young Visitor to Xanth Faces a Fate Far Worse than Death.

Breanna, a beautiful young newcomer to the enchanted land of Zanth, must deal with a distressing dilemma. She has unwittingly attracted the affections of King Xeth, ruler of Xanth's Zombies, who yearns to make her Queen of the Undead! Her quest to preserve her innocence, and find her destiny, takes her on an exhilarating excursion packed with perils, puzzles, and piles of puns. Zombie Lover will provide a profusion of macabre merriment for
Xanth's many fans.

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