What's in the Bottle?

      P. R. R.
What's in the Bottle?

A short story about Dave, an ordinary guy who gets fed up with magazine and TV adds for products nobody needs. It’s time to take things into his own hands! Armed with two beers from different brands and a WWII Beretta he drives down to the local supermarket to rescue the consumer.“... and if you call in the next ten minutes, we’ll include a premium quality stainless steel bottle opener, free of charge.” “Hello. Dave speaking. I’d like to order ten bottles. That’d be all.” “Ten bottles. OK sir and congratulations. You qualify for our special offer, the premium quality stainless steel bottle opener.” “Thanks, I just want the bottles please.” “But sir, this is a special opportunity.” “Yes, I know. I just want the bottles, please. I don’t need a bottle opener.” “Yes sir, we will send you ten bottles, but I would like you to reconsider our special offer.” “Just the bottles please.” “Sir, we have to offer you the bottle opener. It’s the company policy sir.” “Thanks for the offer but I just want the bottles please.” “Yes sir, we will send you the bottles, but since you called ten minutes before the end of the advertisement we would like to offer you our unique bottle opener.” “Look man, just send the bottles, OK? I don’t need more junk in my apartment.” “Sir, what we offer is premium quality. A stainless steel bottle opener with a deluxe metal finish. ” “So why does stainless steel need a metal finish for? Just send me the bottles please.” “But wouldn’t you...” “No. Are you listening to me. Send me the stupid bottles and... You know what, forget about it. I don’t want the bottles anymore.” Dave hung up the phone: “Man I need a beer. So scientists still wonder how alcoholism develops?“

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