A Bushman's Tail

      Lindsay Johannsen / Humor
A Bushman's Tail

All countries have some interesting local characters out in their rural back blocks, but these two somewhat defective old-timers are in a league of their own.Noodles is left alone at home all day to guard the house while Granny is at work. After his rounds, he lies on a bed by a window. He remembers seeing some of the other dogs in the park playing with little boys, and he wishes he had a little boy to play with too. As he rests on the comfortable bed, a foggy mist from the river slips in slowly through the window as he relaxes more and more. Suddenly Noodles is startled to find himself floating and tumbling in fluffy white clouds in a blue sky. He doesn't know where he is. Just then Prince Jae Vaughn flies by on his dragon, Fire Tiger. He invites the dog to join him, and together they go on an adventure. They vanquish sorcerers and a witch, rescuing the lovely Lady Jesse Lynn and her dragon Hummingbird. After dinner Noodles falls asleep by the fireplace in the castle, wondering how he'll ever get back to Granny. The next thing he knows, he wakes up back on the bed at Granny's house, to the sounds of Granny returning home. He greets her happily, jumping up and down. She greets him happily too, telling him he's a good dog.
Read online

    Christmas Day at the Sweet Angel Mine

      Lindsay Johannsen
Christmas Day at the Sweet Angel Mine

Two slightly suspect larrikins working a small remote Central Australian mine celebrate Christmas there during the height of a typically oppressive summer – hot as buggery, the odd whirlywind trying to tear their shelter apart, not a breath of wind otherwise, bushflies by the million – and a perceived wrong they see as needing a slight umm ... “adjustment”.After watching Glenn Beck's film, The Man in the Moon, I thought about the Earth and how it is a living thing. I read many scriptures and struggled how I would write this. One Sunday I thought about the Earth receiving the blood the Savior spilled. How horrible that must have been! This thought stayed with me for a week and then the next Sunday morning, the whole story came to me except for a few edits. It was an amazing experience! I hope it stirs others to think as I did and that new thoughts might settle in the heart to feel joy in the blessing of Mother Earth!
Read online

    Uncle Jasper and the Eighty Acres

      Lindsay Johannsen / Humor
Uncle Jasper and the Eighty Acres

A look at the old rascal's life … not so much wasted exactly; more seemingly let drift. Yet things are not always as they might appear…Beware the Scent of Tuberose and the Maniacal Music of the Keys!At six years old, Lissette attends a concert by the handsome and dazzling concert pianist, Armand Guy de Rais. She is instantly infatuated. Ten years later, their lives destroyed by the French Revolution, Lissette's mother marries her off to a wealthy aristocrat living on a Caribbean island. Could Lissette's childhood fantasy be coming true? Or is there more than a whiff of decay in the flowers, in the house, in the music of the keys?This is a Gothic Faery Tale of about 6,000 words.
Read online

    Mirage Resources International Pty Ltd (No Liability), and the Curious Affair of the Golden Windle Investment Project

      Lindsay Johannsen / Humor
Mirage Resources International Pty Ltd (No Liability),  and the Curious Affair of  the Golden Windle Investment Project

Aussie battlers are built tough. Best them, burn ‘em out, bankrupt the buggers and back they’ll come, bold as brass and tonguing for another go – or ready to give something else a try. It’s their overarching optimism, see. And an ability to be philosophical about failure in any form, be it through crook fortune, flood, drought or disaster. But, as in any society, there are always “birds of prey” …The only way to become incredibly rich and sit in your underwear on the beach all day, is to write conspiracy theories. That's right. There is no other way...unless you want to work for an evil boss. All those other gurus have been lying to you. You know why; to keep you a slave in your own mind. And to keep you buying their books.All is revealed in this book. Which is free, by the way.By publishing this book and exposing their secrets, the writer is probably already in the torture chambers of the Illuminati right now. So the only thing you can do for him is to at least download his book and read every word in it. And then spread the word.Remember, all I can offer is the truth. You are not going to like it, but swallow the red pill and see how deep the mole hole really goes...If, after reading this book, you are not at least a multi-millionaire by twelve o clock tomorrow, write me an email immediately. I promise I will feel so bad for you, that I will go out and spend five hundred dollars on myself. I will then sent you the photos of me enjoying myself to make you feel better.What are you waiting for...
Read online

    Tales From The Acacia Trees

      Lindsay Johannsen / Humor
Tales From The Acacia Trees

This is one of those "Getting to know the author" things, or more accurately, "Getting to know the author as a feral eight to eleven year old" (or even, "Getting to be thankful you never had the misfortune of meeting the author as a feral eight to eleven-or-more year old"). Whatever the case, my associates and I in those bygone days simply saw ourselves (with concessions), as the Kings of CreationDaniel and Aidan have spent their lives apart from the rest of the kingdom of Castiglias and its subjects. For the last three years, they have been left with only each other for company since King Argyle's men came and took their parents to be slaves. The boys' survival has been dependent on the lessons learned from their parents, as well as their own unique powers. When Argyle's men come to take Daniel, Aidan uses his little-known gift to fight off the gathering party. He does so with only two goals in mind: to save his older brother from a lifetime of serving Argyle, and then escape together. Fleeing the only home they have ever known, they must avoid Argyle's men, werewolves, and a fire-breathing dragon looking for an easy meal. What begins as a fight to save one boy and then disappear unexpectedly turns into a battle against the evil forces of Argyle, a war that may affect the lives of not only the many children waiting to be taken, but the existence of the kingdom itself.
Read online

    The Great A4 Paper Swindle

      Lindsay Johannsen / Humor
The Great A4 Paper Swindle

Don’t ask me. I mean make of this what you will. The question is, where does this stuff come from? OK; I had a temperature, felt like a dog's breakfast generally, and the missus was feeding me her aspirin, honey, lemon juice and 240Volt OP rum alleged cough mixture. (I mean this can't really be happening. When I open my eyes I'll be young and handsome again and all will be sunshine and happiness…)Who doesn't like getting something for FREE?Think of companies such as Google & Facebook, which mastered the power of FREE to generate billions of dollars in profit, whilst never charging for their services.Beyond Internet companies, many businesses are trying to harness the benefits of making part of or all of their products or services FREE of charge to their consumers, with the objective to start, grow and ultimately profit to various degrees of success.Unfortunately, many are going broke doing it before they reach their goals.'Freeconomics - Making Millions Giving it Away' shares multiple proven business models used around the world by entrepreneurs for maximum benefit.Giving away your product or service has never been so profitable!
Read online

    The Adventures of Billy Boiglebird and his Small Automatic Wind Powered Galactic Space-Shrink Transporter Gizmo

      Lindsay Johannsen / Humor
The Adventures of Billy Boiglebird and his Small Automatic Wind Powered Galactic Space-Shrink Transporter Gizmo

I wrote this story for my great grandchildren and they enjoyed it immensely. Your little grandies might like it too. And you may even find it amusing yourself … or enjoy reading it to your young’ns, anyway. (…and let me say, dear reader, that you do so with my very warmest compliments.) L.J.A Life Awakening is a chronicle about the troubled life of a young man named Ethan Elliot, as told by his spirit guide, William. In the first of this series, Whispers from Within, we join Ethan as he feels he finally has found his soul mate in his relationship with Jennifer. Little does Ethan realize that his entire world is about to be turned upside down. Yet, as Ethan's spirit guide, and with minimal intervention, William will guide Ethan to places he never expected to go, and to people he never expected to meet.Ethan's story begins in New York, when problems developed in his relationship with Jennifer. Heartbroken, Ethan, with the aid of divine intervention, decides to move on, in the hope of finding greener pastures and a new life. What Ethan discovers about himself is an important milestone, as it is to all of us when we awaken to the myriad of possibilities in the lives our souls chose to live.As Ethan listens to stories of the many people he meets from all walks of life, he slowly begins to re-evaluate his own true purpose in life. With the progression of both time and maturity, Ethan discovers the very essence of life itself, as well as the importance of those whom he considers true friends.Have you ever experienced a moment in your life when you thought everything was perfect, only to discover that circumstances were about to change abruptly? Whispers from Within will open your eyes to possibilities that at first blush you never would have considered, as you follow Ethan through his journey. All too often in our lives, we develop a preconceived notion of what the ideal should be in a life partner, a family, a job, or any of the many situations that require decisions on a daily basis. We make those decisions based on a number of factors, often just by watching what our friends and family are doing with their lives. But in life’s grand scheme of things one size doesn't fit all, so we adjust our lives based on our own life experiences.Whispers from Within, for both Ethan and the reader, celebrates life, with its many paths that lie before us. An entirely new world of options for living one’s life can be found once we drop the pretense of believing we always know what we want out of life. With the aid of your spirit guide, you will gain the ability to quiet the noise of daily life, while going deep within yourself to discover your truest motivations. Like Ethan, eventually you will begin to stop fighting the life your soul chose this time around, and begin to live a life of joy that others could only envy. In time, Ethan learns an important lesson, that a life well-lived has its own rewards, and neither Ethan, nor the lives he touches, will ever be the same.
Read online

    Raggedydax The Robot Comes To Planet Earth

      Lindsay Johannsen / Humor
Raggedydax The Robot Comes To Planet Earth

A tale of epic proportions for the kiddies – of inspired pioneering invention, of galaxy-wide space-exploration and the utterly gut-wrenching strangeness of alien worlds and cultures, and of grit, determination and fortitude in the face of immense adversity. They’ll laugh, they’ll cry, they’ll scream for mercy, but most of all they’ll beg you to stop reading it to them.We proudly present the very latest in the lives of Owner and her forgiving life plan, with plenty of ready advice from Wonka who can discern sense from nonsense in seconds; but how to persuade Owner? She is busy sorting sheds, cooking up a storm and all with the blessing of her new find, a book to reveal the very secrets of the Universe. All the ancient wisdom, all of Jung’s deep thinking brought together in a small paperback by the bed. Will anyone survive Owner’s fighting spirit? Ah, but it is a happy spirit, and bound to make you smile. So read on, and like Wonka, find a warm place in the sun. With big love x
Read online

    McCullock's Gold

      Lindsay Johannsen / Mystery & Detective
McCullock's Gold

McCullock’s gold is an Australian murder mystery set on the northern edge of the Simpson Desert. There’s an abandoned 4x4, its missing driver, some missing gold, some bad guys and some bodies - plus a smart-arse Aboriginal mechanic who helps the local bush copper solve it all, while at the same time trying not to divulge any of the sensitive cultural information lying at the heart of the affair.When the pilot of a light aircraft notices an abandoned vehicle north of the Plenty Highway in the desert-margin country of Australia’s vast Simpson Desert, she reports it to Flight Service. The flight controller passes this information on to the Alice Springs police, following which Senior Constable Rick Frazier is sent from his remote Central Australian police station at Harts Range to investigate. But his regular Aboriginal Police Aide is away on tribal business, so along the way he calls in to the Bonya Community to recruit Jack Cadney – a bush mechanic with previous experience as a police aide who now assembles cars for a living. When the two arrive at the abandoned vehicle Cadney can hardly believe it. Why would anyone abandon a perfectly good tray-back 4x4 Nissan Patrol out in the middle of nowhere? …and more importantly, where is its driver? But Cadney’s father Twofoot Jack has more pressing worries. Some strangers came to the Community – doing a bit of prospecting, they said, and hoping someone from there could guide them into the North Simpson. Later, on learning they’d actually been looking for his tribal group’s most secret ceremonial site, Twofoot Jack becomes angry and concerned – him being, as senior man for the whole region, its ultimate custodian and utterly responsible for every aspect of its maintenance and well being. And how could the pair have done so? …when not a whitefella alive is supposed to know the place even exists. Yet far from being a matter of the old men’s cultural sensitivities, Twofoot’s concerns about the place actually centre on matters that are largely his own. As for Cadney and Frazier… Well, those two are soon caught up in the legacy of old time miner and prospector Les McCullock’s late 1940’s schemings – no matter that he is long dead and buried – plus those of Twofoot Jack and certain other, more recent doings. This is no TV style CSI at some multi million dollar mansion, with cool-as bikini-clad witnesses being interviewed poolside. This is Central Australia! This is the bush! So get yourself a taste of the North Simpson’s spinifex country and its fine red sand, as you head into the desert margins with Cadney and Frazier. Soon puzzle turns to mystery and mystery to murder as secrets old and new pile up. And when the wily old Twofoot starts stirring the stew pot with some secrets of his own, Jack Cadney finds himself in a difficult situation with very few options … and a policeman demanding answers…
Read online

    Kevin Cassidy The Cassidy Chronicles

      Lindsay Johannsen / Humor
Kevin Cassidy  The Cassidy Chronicles

...being the questionable memoirs of a certain North Queensland high school boy on his 1950’s journey through the leafy glades of learning. But (shock horror!), it's in the first-person present tense, the mark of a rank amateur. Yet this was the only way I could make the story work, dear reader, and you, with your perspective and experience, will judge it for yourself (hopefully with a smile).When the elderly recluse Ebenezer Gower died he left his run down Sherbert Valley farm in north Queensland and all his worldly wealth to the Parish of the Upper Sherbert, his idea being that a small agricultural high school be established there for the boys of the area. The most valuable part of the bequest was a parcel of coarse gold concentrate, gold that looked as if it had come from the Sherbert Valley. But the Sherbert Valley alluvials had been worked out in the eighteen nineties … and this was reef gold.-------------------------A lighthearted look at life and other extracurricular activities at a small bush high school in north Queensland during the mid nineteen-fifties. Forget Adrian Mole and the Boy Wizard. Forget Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn. This is a true-blue Aussie kid describing real Aussie adventures … and only exaggerating slightly.But this is no children’s book. This is a good honest Aussie yarn for anyone from eleven to eleventy. I mean check out the solid gold reviews.-------------------------“Ay. She’sa not too bad, I reckon.” (Pietro Spinelli, Anakie Gemfields, Qld.)“This towering um...'work', is erm...” (Ron Bruise, The Birdsville Times Literary Supplement.)“Gracious luvvey, it cheered me up no end it did.” (Marge Trundle, rooms cleaned and general domestic duties. No Sundays.)
Read online

    Everything Sucks #7, Win

      Lindsay Johannsen / Humor
Everything Sucks #7, Win

Kate wasn't your typical Oklahoma farm girl. She was ambitious, brilliant, and deadly. A born predator with a sweet, bashful smile.Have you ever read a book and thought, "gee I'd really like to know more about all those background characters!" Well we here at Team Pop Culture thought of that; because we're awesome, and we've got you covered. Behold, the Everything Sucks series! All of these short stories are stand-alones, and will make sense even if you haven't read the novel "Pop Culture Sucks, Manifesto of a Vampire" (*cough* it's a great book though *cough*)The series will either introduce you to, or expand on, various characters from the Pop Culture Universe. You'll get peeks at things like: Iris's time in the Underground Gary's life in the late 1940's Stitch, the Speakeasy barkeep And many all new charactersSo whether you're familiar with these guys or not, this is a series you should check out!
Read online

    The Granny In The Red GTS

      Lindsay Johannsen / Humor
The Granny In The Red GTS

The grandmother mentioned here, Dear Reader, was my beloved stepmother, and the story, in essence, is true. Yet painting a picture faithful to her person and personality meant applying a little poetic licence (so to speak), an indulgence I hope you will understand and appreciate.Twenty three days have passed since the Burning Sky disaster shook the world to its core, twenty three days since the disintegration of the seven American city-stations that had once been in orbit around the Earth. Brought down at the hands of a terrorist organization named the Free Mars Society, a group working to liberate their home planet from the oppressive governments that lorded over it, the incident spurred every nation on the globe into heightened state of alert. Anti-terrorism units from around the globe were put on call, units like the one Mai Tsukino commanded. Rushing into the heart of a Free Mars Society cell operating within Tokyo she’d soon discover there was more to Burning Sky than the world had been told.
Read online

    A Ring For Angelina

      Lindsay Johannsen / Romance & Love
A Ring For Angelina

A Love Story – 1949, the Harts Range mica fields north east of Alice Springs in Central Australia: difficult conditions, demanding work, hard times generally, a seemingly worsening situation … and Christmas approaching...."Th' man who wrote it was presumably fine t'do," ah remarked, indeavo'in' t'imitate mah companion's processes. "Such paper c'd not be bought unner ha'f a crown a packet. It is peekoolyarly strong an' stiff." "Peculiar--dat be de real wo'd," said Holmes. "It be not an English sheet at all. Hold it down t'de light. Man!"...The story is an unique version of Conan Doyle's "A Scandal in Bohemia" created with the help of Dialectizer. We bet you've never read before Sherlock Holmes talking Jive or Doctor Watson talking Redneck. This version will help you to look at "A Scandal in Bohemia" from an unexpected angle and to appreciate it more. No offense to people who talk featured dialects intended.
Read online

    The Three Wizened Men

      Lindsay Johannsen / Humor
The Three Wizened Men

Nothing happens in isolation. Momentous events are always accompanied by peripheral happenings, each with a greater or lesser link to the main issue. Often these affairs are overshadowed, and when the dust finally settles and the official accounts are written they are, for one reason or another, not included. Such applied to certain other doings relevant to that first Christmas Day...EVER BEEN DUMPED!?!After being brutally ditched by his girlfriend, high school senior Seth decides to win back ex Lysandra by reinventing himself into the man he has always wanted to be by fulfilling his childhood dreams and wishes. With the assistance of his, well, quirky best friend Russ and his platonic guy-girlfriend, Anna, his senior year becomes one of adventure and self-realization in this hilarious original screenplay by J. Richard Singleton.
Read online

    The Brass Pandemonium

      Lindsay Johannsen / Humor
The Brass Pandemonium

As the years mount one’s outlook on life can mellow, and oft with this comes an inclination to rail less vigorously against the elements (you might say), to see one's failures in a softer light and to be less reticent in trumpeting one's triumphs – though softly still and with elemental decorum. So let me open the door on my private life and affairs the merest fraction and I’ll tell you a story…Are you looking for a kid's or children's book that is highly entertaining, great for early readers, and is jam-packed with bedtime stories, jokes, games, and more? This children's storybook has it all!Finley is a shy fish. He has a hard time making friends because he is so shy, but his best-friend Barney is always by his side. Follow the adventures of Finley and Barney! This is an excellent read for beginning and early readers. Each story is easy to read and exciting. Cute and bright illustrations for younger readers and a free coloring book.This book is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and read aloud at home.* Fun games and puzzles included* Excellent for beginning and early readers* Cute short stories that are great for a quick bedtime story* Funny and hilarious jokes & illustrations for kidsThis story is great for a quick bedtime story and to be read aloud with friends and family.WHAT A GREAT DEAL! => 5 FUN STORIES, JOKES, GAMES, ACTIVITIES, AND A COLORING BOOK!Your child will be entertained for hours!
Read online