Pieces of me a foundatio.., p.1
Pieces of Me: A Foundation Novel, Book One (The Foundation Series 1),
Pieces of Me
A Foundation Novel
By: Kira Adams
Copyright © 2013 Krista Pakseresht. All rights reserved.
The Foundation Series
Pieces of Me
Ordinarily, she would be far from my radar…but there was something behind those enchanting brown eyes that drew me in, kept me coming back for more. I felt her sadness, her sorrow, her pain. All I wanted to do with every inch of my being was make her feel wanted, loved—but something was holding me back, pinning me in place, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to confront that truth just yet. I cared far too much about my peers’ opinions to risk it all blindly. But Peyton was all I had been fantasizing about since we crossed paths, my yearning for her almost too much to bare; I wasn’t sure how much longer I could stand to be apart.
You Know You’re My Bitch, Right?
I knew from the time I was a little girl
I would grow up and I would rule the world
I always knew I was meant for something
More than they led me to believe
They always tried to take it from me
My talents, the indefinite possibilities
I never lost faith that I was meant for
Something more, can’t wait for what’s in store
The world is your oyster
Get out there and take charge
Steer your future in the right direction
Gotta, gotta make the right selection
I had never pictured my death before—wait, who am I kidding? I had imagined my death a million different ways; almost always by my own hand. That’s what depression does to you; it nags at you until you do everything in your power to silence it or stop it. I had never intended to take all those pills…I just wanted to make it stop. I just wanted to make it numb. My consciousness was weaving in and out until darkness took over me like a tidal wave.
The scream was faint, but it pierced through the darkness. I could feel slight pressure like someone was pressing down on my chest, but I was too weak.
I opened my eyes and was surprised to find myself in a dark hallway. I had no idea how I had gotten there, but I could see a faint light at one end and I yelled out, “hello?” My voice echoed off the loud walls. I whipped myself around when I felt a breath on the back of my neck making my hairs stand on end.
“I didn’t mean to alarm you, Peyton.” The way he said my name raised goose bumps all over my skin.
“How do you know my name?” I asked, taking him in, cautiously. He was probably close to six feet tall and his blue eyes pierced through me.
He chuckled in response without answering my question. “Why did you do it?”
I shook my head in an irritated fashion. Who does he think he is? I owed him nothing. I didn’t even know him. I began walking the opposite way, towards the faint glowing light.
“You can’t go down there,” he called after me.
I didn’t bother stopping as I yelled over my shoulder. “And why is that?”
“Because you’ll never return.” Before I knew it, he was at my side, grabbing my arm to stop me from going any further. “You don’t want to do this, Peyton.”
“Let go of me!” I struggled to free myself from his grip. “I don’t even know who you are!”
He didn’t loosen his grip, but his voice softened. “Don’t you see…that’s exactly why I can’t let you go.”
He pulled me closer into him and suddenly my body calmed down. My heart rate returned to normal. I didn’t even have the urge to fight back anymore. Everything just felt right. “Shhh…” he whispered soothingly into my right ear, softly running his hands over my hair. “Stay with me, Peyton.”
“What?” I asked, confused why he would say such a thing.
“Peyton, stay with me.” Suddenly the world around me dissipated, leaving nothing but blackness in its wake.
Someone was shaking my shoulder…it was faint but I could feel it. My eyes fluttered open and all I could make out in the blurry haze was haunting blue eyes. The same blue eyes I had met moments earlier in the dark hallway. I tried to speak, but all that came out was slurs. I wanted to know who he was. I wanted to know how he found me.
My eyelids felt like they were being weighed down by the titanic. Even though I could hear faint voices in the background, I surrendered to the darkness.
When I awoke I found my stomach being unpleasantly pumped. It was a very rude awakening. The doctor said if I had made it to the hospital merely five minutes later that I would have died. I was angry with the choice I had made, I was angry it didn’t pan out, but most of all I was angry with the world. I was convinced it was the world against Peyton.
Because I had attempted to end it all, I was put on suicide watch by the hospital for three days. I even spent a few days in the mental ward thanks to my genius decision—and that wasn’t even the worst of it. My sister, who had conveniently ignored my existence my entire life, was suddenly an overbearing leech. I couldn’t get rid of her to save my life. For someone who had pretended she didn’t know me for as long as I could remember, it was interesting to see how quickly the tide changed.
My parents threw me right back into school the minute I arrived home, not wanting to let a moment pass by. They were under the impression the only way to heal from such a travesty was to return to normal. The hardest part was having to be go back to school and pretending like nothing had changed; like I hadn’t crossed that imaginary line; once crossed it made it so much easier if I tried again. That scared me. Having to keep the secret from my two best friends was also going to be difficult on me. I was positive they were going to want to know where I had been the first week of school; why I had mysteriously been avoiding their phone calls and home visits.
“Watch where you’re going,” Kari Ann Blakely barked at me. It was good to see nothing had changed since I had attempted to leave our cruel world.
“Sorry.” I looked down, sheepishly.
We had been attending the same school since elementary. Yet, surprisingly, that was the nicest thing she had ever said to me. Tragic, I know. We were juniors in high school and Kari Ann was the head cheerleader at Westview High, making her the most popular girl in school.
I scrambled to pick up my textbooks that had been strewn all over in the collision. Kari Ann was long since gone. Suddenly, I felt my fingers grace the hand of another. Someone was actually helping me pick up my books.
I slowly, hesitantly, brought my eyes to meet the mystery kind-hearted soul, who had for once, given me hope in humanity.
“Here ya go,” he said, as he handed me my advanced biology book. “Don’t pay any mind to her. She’s just a bully.” Without another word, the biggest crush of my life turned his back on me and walked away.
My heart was racing. The mystery man had been none other than Jax Austin, the brown haired, blue eyed man of my dreams; otherwise known as the quarterback of the football team. Of course I had to fall in line with the rest of the female population at my school and fawn all over Jax. He was always so cool, calm, and collected. Even though he was not a man of many words when it came to me
Jax had a twin brother, Jace, who was five minutes younger than him. His parents were divorced when they were eleven, and at the time Jace and Jax weren’t getting along that well, so they decided to live with opposite parents. Jax ended up with his father and Jace with their mother. I only knew this much because it was public knowledge, and of course, from all of my stealth Facebook lurking skills.
Their mother died unexpectedly in a car crash about a month ago and rumors were spreading that after five years, the twins were going to be reunited. Same house, same school. It was going to be quite interesting to see how it played out. Everyone around our small town knew Jax as one person, not two. No one had ever even met Jace, because he lived with their mother in Canada. Jace was set to begin school at Westview High any day now. The rumors swirling around in anticipation about another Jax Austin walking around school were running wild. They were identical twins and, rumor had it, incredibly hard to tell apart.
Even though I knew I was nowhere near his radar, a girl could dream. And dream big I did. I was pretty sure the only reason Jax even spoke a single word to me was because of my sister, Kayleigh. She was a year older, but we were worlds apart socially. She was extremely popular; always had been. I always secretly hated that she got most of my father’s genes, whereas I ended up with my mothers. To be honest, if it weren’t for our names, people wouldn’t even know we were related.
While my sister tolerated me, I knew she would rather keep me hidden away, so as not to embarrass or disappoint her or her clique. Here she was; a blond hair, brown eyed goddess. Straight, beautiful teeth, great smile, size four. And on the other side of the spectrum, you had me; brown hair, brown eyes, glasses, size fifteen. I had been overweight my entire life, and it just came so easily for my sister. Unfair, if you asked me. I had never even had a boyfriend; she had boys knocking down her door. Sometimes, I wondered: if she did accept me as her sister, how everyone else would take it?
I really only had two people I could count on in the world, other than my parents; my best friends, Madison Thereaux and Brooklyn Jones. Like me, their popularity was basically non-existent. We all met in middle school in theatre class and had been inseparable ever since. Madison was a fiery red head, with glasses and blue eyes. Her hair was long and unruly. She was thin as a rail, with a beautiful smile. Brooklyn was my African-American sister from another mister. Her hair changed daily, depending on her mood, but today she was sporting 22 beautiful inches of dark Indian hair. She had brown eyes and more confidence than anyone I knew, being a size eighteen. She was wearing a dark jean romper that no one would be able to pull off at her size, other than Brooklyn herself.
“Girl? Where have you been all my life?” Brooklyn exclaimed dramatically as she threw me into a tight hug.
“Last minute trip to visit my Grandma…” I trailed off, hoping she wouldn’t notice I was lying. I was terrible at it and Brooklyn could almost always call my bluff.
“Is she doing alright?” Brooklyn’s tone changed to concern, her face crinkling with worry.
I nodded. “For now.” At least that wasn’t a lie…
“So, what’s the plan for this weekend?” Madison asked as we took our seats for AP English.
“Isaiah overheard Cooper telling Jackson about a party at his house this weekend. From what he heard, it’s supposed to be off the hook!” Brooklyn exclaimed. Isaiah Felt and Brooklyn had been dating on and off for a year.
“Are you kidding? How would we expect to even lay a foot in this party?” I gasped, positive they were being sarcastic.
“Can’t you talk to your sister, Peyton?” Madison eyed me.
I couldn’t help stifling a laugh. “You guys have got to be kidding. I know it’s a new year, but we are still not going to get an invite to that party.” Not to mention my parents would never allow such a thing now that they were hyper-sensitive of everything I was doing, every move I was making. They were just concerned I was going to attempt to off myself again. I wasn’t in the right headspace. It took nearly everything out of me the first time. Going through it again had no appeal whatsoever.
“Then we’ll simply have to crash it.” Brooklyn’s eyes lit up, concocting her plan.
“This is the worst idea you two have ever had.” I shook my head.
Suddenly, Kari Ann walked into class, arm-in-arm with Jax. My heart dipped into my stomach. How someone could affect me so seriously was beyond me. He took a seat right in front of me and Kari Ann to the right of him. It appeared she was trying to convince him of something.
“Come on, it’s going to be a blast. Everyone worth knowing will be there. You have to come; it’ll be so boring without you.” Kari Ann attempted to persuade him.
“I’m sure you’ll survive,” Jax responded, obviously uninterested.
“But will you?” Kari Ann flirted, resting her hand on his.
Then, something happened I couldn’t have predicted; Jax Austin turned around, looked me in the eyes, and spoke to me. I was in such shock that he voluntarily chose to, that the first time he spoke, all I saw was his beautiful lips part, but I was so focused on a birth mark my eyes found on his face. It was a tiny bit bigger than most freckles, but this birth mark I was not familiar with. For someone I had dreamt about, fantasized about hourly, how could I miss such a beautiful part of what made him-him? The birth mark was beige, circular, and right below his right eye. It made the twinkle in his eye that much more noticeable.
“Earth to space cadet,” Kari Ann grumbled, obviously upset the attention had shifted from her.
“You okay?” He looked genuinely worried.
“Oh, um, yeah, I’m sorry,” I stammered, trying with everything in me to find the right words. “What did you say?”
He laughed lightly then replied, “Kari Ann said everyone will be at Cooper’s party this weekend. I was asking if you were going.”
My jaw dropped open, unconsciously. Did Jax Austin really just ask me if I was going to the party? Why would he even care? Conscious, finally of my open mouth, I closed it swiftly. I didn’t even know where to start, so I went with the only thing I could come up with. “Naw, that’s not really my scene.” I tried to quiet my nerves.
“Oh really—and what is your scene?” He asked, appearing intrigued.
The shrill cry had me exhaling on the inside. Saved by the bell. Having to tell Jax that my usual weekend consisted of lots of snacking, TV, and usually hanging out with my parents or having sleepovers with my two besties, staying up all night gossiping about him, was not on my agenda. Plus Kari Ann’s prying eyes were getting old.
He turned around, and as quickly as I felt like a part of his world, I was again, an outsider; an outcast.
I walked into my house sighing after a long school day. All I wanted to do was slip into some sweats and relax, but seeing my sisters face as I passed by the living room, halted that plan.
“I heard you got invited to Cooper’s party this weekend?” Kayleigh eyed me, suspiciously.
“Not exactly,” I replied, taking a seat next to her on the couch. “Jax asked if I was going, not necessarily invited me.”
“Well, you can’t go, Peyton,” She exclaimed sternly, but one look at my fallen face, and she softened. “Look, you know how much I would love to have you there. But I don’t want to have to be looking out for you all night; I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. Plus, you know Mom and Dad are never going to let you out of their sight.”
“Why would anything happen to me?” I asked, hesitantly.
“Just promise me you won’t go, please.” She was pleading with me; I was floored. I knew how little her friends thought of me, but my own sister?
I shook my head lightly before standing up. “It would be nice if for once you could act like my sister, instead of someone who hates me so m
“Peyton!” I heard her call behind me, but I didn’t care. The tears were already welling up in my eyes. I hated crying in front of anyone. Crying made me appear weak. As much as I had been bullied and teased in the past, I had learned to save face. I had taught myself how to make it seem like they hadn’t gotten to me…even when it killed me some days. I had learned to save my crying sessions for my room or the bathroom at school.
I had more walls up than the Great Wall of China. It was sad, actually. The fact that no one knew the real me, except for a handful of people, was unfortunate. I was a very creative person. I loved acting, singing, writing, dancing, you name it.
I had grown up acting and had landed the lead in almost every production I was a part of. I loved music, it was my life. That was the main reason Madison and I bonded so quickly in middle school and became so close, so fast.