Holiday short stories, p.8
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       Holiday Short Stories, p.8

           Jayne Amanda Maynes
 
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what life was all about. I tried to explain I was really a guy, but that wasn't true. I was a girl, and this sales clerk was hitting on me. After getting back in the dress I had worn in I bought everything she helped me find, and found a way of turning her down on her invitation to go out. I then headed for a shoe store hoping to find something that would go with the new dresses and the sales clerk at the shoe store started hitting on me again offering to show me a good time. He found a pair of boots I really loved and found I had trouble getting them on so he offered to help and ran his hand up my leg farther than was really necessary causing me to blush and look very embarrassed. The whole time he helped he stared, or at least it seemed to me he stared, right at my crotch. I thanked him for the assistance and bought two of the ten pairs of shoes he had shown me figuring I could find more at one of the other stores.

  By the time I made it back out to the car I had five extra large shopping bags stuffed and had no idea how I was ever going to get them all in the car. I had a pair of piercing studs in each ear, and turned down at least a half dozen offers to go out. It seemed strange, I had felt so accepted, then just as I was getting in the car some guy called me sir. I tried to ignore him, but he ran over and held the car door refusing to let me close it. I looked up at him and he said sir again and I panicked. I pulled on the door hard enough that it slammed rocking the car. He motioned for me to roll down the window since I locked the door as soon as it closed. I rolled it down just a little and he said he had seen me drop something on my way and just wanted to see I got it back, he held out my wallet that somehow managed to fall when I tried to put it back in my purse. He apologized for having mistaken me for a man and handed me the wallet. He explained he made the mistake because the license and cards all had what he was sure was a mans name on them. He said if I needed anything to call him and gave me his number. I looked through the wallet and found everything was still there so tried to hand him a fifty and he turned me down, saying sometime it might be him who lost his wallet and he hoped whoever found it would be as kind.

  I opened the door and stepped out thanking him and giving him a hug in appreciation for his honesty. I got back in the car and he asked if I ever went out and if so would I be willing to meet him at one of the local clubs for a drink and dance and maybe more if things worked out that way. I thanked him and said some time I just might take him up on the offer.

  The thirty-first was here and I had everything ready, I had clothes, I had make-up, I had shoes, even a new wig that looked much better than the old one, at least I thought it did, the color was a better match to my hair then the old one was. I had everything a girl could want except a man and that I wasn't sure I wanted, at least not yet. I wasn't sure I felt that way about men, or if I felt that way about women. I looked at women, but for years it had been to see what they were wearing and how they moved so I could copy it a little trying to find just the right moves for me. I decided I didn't want to spend my first night out as the new me by myself, so started thinking of just where I might go to have fun and not be bothered. I picked one of the smaller clubs and put on a nice dress for dancing and headed out the door. I pulled up and found I had to surrender my keys if I wanted to get in as they weren't going to let anyone who had drank just a little more then they should drive when they left. I handed the man at the door my keys and he smiled and said he hoped I might make it. I looked at him a little closer and smiled as he asked if I would be willing to save a dance for him.

  Save a dance for him so what? He could find out I'm not everything I appear? I thought about it and said I would. I didn't think about it, I tried to, but I didn't, it came out so easily that I would save him a dance. I entered and was soon joined by the guy who found my wallet and then took my keys. Here I was at his mercy, and didn't feel a bit annoyed by the thought. I actually felt warmed by the thought of dancing with this guy who had mistaken me for a man just because of the name on a driver license and a few credit cards. He smiled as he asked if the seat next to me was taken. I smiled back and shrugged that I had no idea the place was kind of crowded so it might be. He sat down anyway and said if it was, who ever could find another place, or ask him to move. I giggled at him and he waved one of the waitresses over to take our order. I asked about the door now that he was sitting with me and he said the place was full to capacity and by law they had to close the doors not letting anyone else in. He then said it was a by invitation only night and those left to find other places didn't have an invitation. I looked at him and frowned I didn't have an invitation, but he let me in.

  He then asked if I wanted to be called the name on my license, or some other name more appropriate. I don't know if I slapped him or just fainted. I do know he was holding my wrist as though I had slapped at him, and then asked again what name I preferred, or if I should just let him pick one. I told him Kim would be good enough and he looked at me as though questioning the wisdom in that as it was my male name. I giggled again and asked if he had ever heard of a girl name such as Kimberly, and we both laughed. Our drinks arrived and he asked if I was ready to dance or if I needed more time to loosen up with a drink or two. I set my drink down and took his hand letting him know I didn't need to be drunk to dance. As we entered the dance floor the DJ started a slow song and he took me in his arms and guided us out to the middle of the floor.

  I asked about the fact he let me in and he said I was his date so of course I was invited. I giggled again and rested my head on his chest. Is this how it was going to be as the real me? If so I already loved it, I couldn't have asked for a better setting for my first night as me. A great dance partner and nice music. I started relaxing and listening to the sound of the music along with the sound of his heart and knew I had found everything I needed for so long. As I held him around the neck with my head resting on his chest I felt him start letting his hands slide down my back to rest on my bottom. He pulled me a little tighter against him and whispered that he hoped I didn't mind his hands wondering a little and I think I moaned something to the effect that I didn't mind in the least, as I was lost in the moment.

  The song ended and we headed back to the table our drinks were at and found another couple sitting there talking. We took the open chairs and they looked at me and asked if I was gay or straight. I started to panic as to how to answer them because it didn't seem wrong for me to be with a guy, after all I was a girl wasn't I? Ken the guy I had just danced with spoke up and told them I was straight, they both knew him, he reminded them, and in all the time they had known him had they ever known him to swing anyway but straight. He leaned over and kissed me whispering that he hoped he hadn't said anything wrong, that he always wondered if just maybe he wasn't gay because all the girls he knew didn't fill him with anything but loss of what he was sure he needed. He didn't love any of them in a way he would ever find to be more then just friendship, but something about me had drawn him in immediately and he wanted to know more what it was he found so intriguing.

  I kissed him and told him I was a woman, I had known for a long time I was, but had always feared no one else would ever be able to accept me, so out of fear I tried to be what the world wanted. I told him I didn't feel being with him tonight was wrong in any way, that he made me feel every bit the woman I had always dreamed I was. He smiled at me and asked if I was up for another dance taking my hand and leading me back out on the dance floor. When we got on the floor he put his hands behind my back and then brought one up to my head and leaned down giving me another kiss.

  My mouth opened slightly allowing his tongue to enter and as we started moving to the music the kiss became one of desire and need. I felt a need that I had never known in my life as he held me tight kissing me with a hunger that told me the night might just be getting started. After that dance we found a place away from most of the other people there and started talking getting to know each other. He only worked at the club for special occasions such as this one and never as a bouncer. He did ride a bike but wasn't really associated with any of the bik
er groups around, he said he just enjoyed the freedom the bike gave without all the expense that cars came with.

  There was a buffet of sorts available and he asked if I was hungry, I nodded and we went and started fixing plates to snack on while we talked. I had a couple more drinks and he said he didn't mind seeing I got home and was able to get my car the following day. I watched him as the evening progressed wondering just what it was about him that had me so intrigued. He wasn't particularly handsome, nor did he seem overly smart, but I found myself drawn to him wanting to hear more about him, to get to know him in every way I could. As the old year drew to a close I wondered just what the new year had in store. Could it be God heard my prayers? Could it be there was someone out there who could accept me for the woman I knew I was? I was so afraid of waking up and finding this whole night had been nothing but a dream, that the night still hadn't happened and I was going to be rejected just as the fears had always said I would be.

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  About Jayne Amanda Maynes

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