Handy sandy, p.1
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       Handy sandy, p.1

           james milano
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Handy sandy
Handy sandy

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  ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Chapter one

  A dawning sunset approached the shore line through its breezes of a once tragic love. They flew towards a young average sized teenage girl lying on the silky sands. she had long blonde and black wavy hair that glowed up her innocent yet tough baby blue eyes. she wore a silver dress that matched her silver heels with colorful bracelets and a crescent necklace. she turned and innocently said, "i fucking love your dumb ass!" she then smacked his face and laughed. a young man looked in shock as laughter flooded through his veins.?

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  he had short brown hair and green eyes. he wore a blue dress shirt and black jeans with black boots. young man "haha, that's very holy and clean huh?" ?he lifted her up and powerbombed her onto the sand. she coughed up in pain as she smiled at him with sand in her teeth. Young man "this is love in our own way" they vigorously kissed and caressed another's bodies. they rolled around in the sand. girl " were like a rolling thunder of dreams, going through sandy times of all times"?

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  man "you are my sand castle, i am your tower" they smiled with awe and passion as they held another. she felt him enter her. she moaned with innocent oddity. girl "show me that kaleidoscope professor! the man shivered with fire. man "ahh, it's like going to starbucks! she sighed. girl "it's like my father punishing me!" the man moaned with confusion. he put a hot dog in her mouth. Man "here, you need to build muscle. it has protein in it." she sighed louder.?

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  man "uhh sandy?!" sandy "what my little pepperoni?" man "look!" she opened up her eyes to see naked people flying on a plane jerking off. she looked awau in disgust. there were newscasters recording them. man "wait, is that dr phil? sandy "yea, there's bill clinton and the hulk! man "he's really hulking that green pea huh?" sandy "get off of me!" man " I don't know i think its kinky! kind of like a magical act of sexual horniess! sandy back handed him in his face.?

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  the man sighed in anger and surprise. man "that's just going to activate my limit break!" sandy " oh shit" suddenly sephiroth appeared laughing as people in black cloaks ran towards power rangers. they began fighting. a light appeared. as it disappeared, she awoke on the beach alone. she jumped up in a worried state. sandy "pepperoni?! where are you!" she desperately ran through the sandy grounds, screaming his name. sandy "adult man! batman! saint Patrick!?

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  she dropped to her knees. sandy "it was all a dream? boing. sandy "she heard a boing sound from the water. she slowly walked to the shore line. she saw a glass bottle floating away. her eyes lit up as she jumped into the ocean as she swam towards it. she caught it as she tried to opened it. she slashed it with a sword. she shot it with a gun. sandy "open fucking sesame!" it finally opened up. all about dre played. sandy rocked her head up and down. she shook it as crack rocks came out.?

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  next came out condoms, a chicken and an alien. sandy looked in confusion with a sarcastically serious face. Sandy "finally" a letter came out. she opened it up. it said "screw off, you will die and i like myself! she shook her head. underneath it said, "we fell apart like grains of sands in our hands, forming into a ocean of memories, remember me when you see every grain of sand" the letter turned into the cookie monster. she screamed as she awoke.?

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  ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?Chapter two

  She noticed the tv as she laid on the black couch with fifty blankets. she wore white underwear and a black tank top. there were Barbie dolls with heads cut off and hanging men in little babies in black suits on strings. the tv showed darth vader on a skateboard riding down new york streets while going to the bathroom. darth vader "well my wife did it again!" a tall general in a green army suit was next to him. general "she used the force of sith baby making?" darth vader made a laughing sound through his breathing. darth vader "no no, she ordered the wrong couch. general "ahh yes, that's the worse!"?

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  darth vader "its won't matter when the plans for the get together with her family fall through. it is when i will be the leader of bingo!" sandy shot the tv with a pink hand gun. she belched as she ate chips off the table. she read the chip bag. sandy "only six years old. it ages like fine wine" she shrugged. she grabbed a unicorn shaped bong and smoked it. then drank five beers as she jumped up. she got onto a dragon shaped tricycle. she grabbed her stomach as she threw up and pooed.?

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  people yelled at her as she passed them through the suburban street, lois lane. watching her crumbled black two story house with a black picket fence and dead grass disappear. she rode through the concrete highways, causing many accidents. sandy yelled "ohh eat a pickle!" she crashes through a window of a tall building with glass windows. employees in white suits with ties starred in shock and caution. she slowly got up and wiped herself off. she looked at everyone with a serious yet funny face.?

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  sandy "what?" a tall thin lady in a black work skirt and white blouse walked to her with fury. she said, "i know you are special but dudette, you are in your underwear" sandy looked down and looked up and shrugged. Sandy "so are you just in a normalized way" she walked off. a man said to her, "you really make an entrance huh sandy?!" sandy "the more unexpected the entrance is, the grander it is, do it to surprise and make the one think, not flash dinky" she slapped his butt.?

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  man "my name isnt dinky!" is it? he had shoulder length black hair with blue eyes. he wore a white dress shirt with black slacks. she grabbed plastic knives and threw them at someone in a black ninja outfit. sandy shouted "food utensil slash!" the ninja side stepped and tried to back flip but fell down. a female voice shouted, "oww fuck!" sandy grabbed her hand and lifted her up. sandy laughed. sandy "you'll be ninjette mistress soon my young old weedhopper!"?

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  she removed her mask to reveal a young woman with sleek brown eyes and short shoulder length black hair. sandy "you are asian neki and you can't even ninja. that's like a jewish nazi or a killer who can't kill. is that possible? neki "hmph! i do ninja with my typing arts! also all Asians aren't one type miss ireland. Aren't you supposed to be cutting potatoes under the rainbow bridge with high trolls?" sandy smirked. sandy "only on sundays"?

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  neki "we have that report on how rabies were formed and why we have balls and why Asians and Spanish people are loud" sandy "report, smesnort, there just another way of corrupted control with no substance or style" an older man with a long white beard, glasses and tights walked in. he span around hitting down cubicles and papers. he whispered into sandys ear, "are you the fountain of youth because i can see now" neki crackled. trying hard not to laugh.?

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  sandy smirked. sandy "are you the sky of oldness because i lost the feeling in my legs? you look like santas gay uncle" his happy face slowly turned into a frown. sandy "you look like merlins accountant. you look like the biggest weed wizard of tellahs past life. he laughed in a anotgozing tone. old man "ha! your defensive attacks are secret acts of love" sandy "sure thing" she began typing insanely fast on her pink and blue serpent shaped keyboard.?

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  everyone circled her as they watched in shock. neki "you move so fast, even for my Asian speed!" sandy typed data entries into the computer. s
andy "it's easy, it's just entering numbers of your insides, like life itself. open up your mouth freak toads!" a tall man in a black and white toad outfit jumped through the room. nekis eyes opened up. neki "could it be len?" len "i think it is!?

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  dinky "who the hell is this frog thing?" neki "You newbie! it is tadio, master of gaming and data entry!" tadio jumped in front of them, crashing into the desk. he jumped up and growled ribbit!" neki "it's the only one who can come close to beating sandy!" sandy laughed. sandy "this virgin tadpole can't beat me!" tadio took off his mask and put his cape in front of his face. tadio "its time!" he sat down next to her in front of a computer. len "chaos, order, creation!"

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  they both began to type fast as frogs began to jump across oceans leaf pads. sandy "sound effects! tadio imitated whoosh and slahs sounds. ?neki "meow! tadio is about to win! as his frog jumped into the last pad, sandys jumped onto his and across the finish line. tadio laid there in surprise and disappointment. sandy lifted up her arms and flexed. sandy "of course i won!" neki jumped up and screamed puurrfect!" tadio "just luck! till next time my lady! he jumped away into the door, crushing it.?

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  her curvy boss walked in as everyone went quiet. she had black high heels that matched her black skirt and white dress tie. she had brown eyes and long brown hair in a ponytail. sandy "yo what up mr.s shelia! my homie! she shook her hand and slapped it down and up. shelia stood ther in confusion and awkwardness. shelia "yea right. i want this report done
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