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       Home, p.26

           J.W. Phillips
 

  “You don’t have to answer, I already know,” she whispered back. My sweet monster, how could you? You’re not that man. The man your dad wants you to be.

  “Last night was the worst, you had to feel what I live with, what’s in me.” He started caressing her back. His movements were hard and rushed, but she could only begin to imagine the emotions coursing through him.

  “I’m glad. I needed to feel that. I wanted to know what you fight to be with me. You thought I wouldn’t love you after that?”

  “Yes,” he answered and glanced out over the pond.

  “It made me love you more. You fight that every minute we’re together just to be with me. I can fight anything to be with you.”

  “Can you do it? Can you handle by world?” he asked, cautiously.

  “Yes, if it means I have you.” She nodded her head.

  He reached in his back pocket and pulled out a folded up sheet of paper. He handed it to her and she carefully unfolded it. It was a contract between his dad and the brotherhood stating that as long as she followed the path laid out before them, all other agreements were voided.

  “What does this mean?”

  “That means as long as you’ll have me, I’m yours.”

  “I’m yours. No more sharing with Emily.”

  He rolled his eyes. “She’s never meant anything compared to you, but yes, no more Emily.”

  Julie leaped in his arms, straddling his midsection. A smile beamed across her face. He swung her around as she bear hugged him. Brushing his fingers through her curls, he lightly tugged at them. “Angel, you have no idea. You. Are. Mine. Forever.” He dipped his head and hovered over her lips. She slowly brushed her mouth over his. He paused for a moment, “No more test, just you and me,” he whispered against her lips before he kissed her.

  “My turn,” she informed him. She would overlook so much of his past, if only he made his future with her.

  “Okay.” He looked defeated. He put her back down and stared off into the distant. She noticed the two men were gone.

  “I’ll call them back. I gave them their cue to leave. If you want to forget all this they’ll come back.”

  “I don’t want to forget, just talk.” She wrapped her hands around his neck. Leaning onto her arm, he closed his eyes. His jaw was tensed, but his lip pouted, making her heart skip. “Why did I feel so strong for you so quick? Did you do any of your hocus pocus?” she asked, worried that he had.

  “I can suppress feelings, but your feelings are all you. My summoning you brought them out sooner, but they’re your feelings.” He sounded depressed. “Angel, I would never play with your mind. I want you to want me, but I will never mess with your freewill. If you tell me to leave you alone I will, but I can’t stop watching and protecting you.”

  He let her go and walked over to the pond. He stood there staring into the horizon. She watched him. The distress in this remarkable man was unimaginable. She walked over to him, and laid her head against his chest. He skimmed his thumb across her lip as she slid her arm tightly around him, enjoying the feel of him next to her. It was right; they were where their heart was meant to be, together.

  “You said this place is protected, what does that mean?”

  “No one can come here except me and you. It’s our safe place. They can’t hear anything we say here. I knew if I was to build any kind of relationship with you, I needed a place for just us. Angel, I built this for you.”

  She was speechless. He went through so much to be with her, to keep her safe . . . how could she not love him.

  “What’s coercion?” she asked, disturbed.

  “I can make you forget any single incident, say anything, do anything, without you even realizing why. It’s another way we protect ourselves.” He held his head down in obvious shame.

  “Have you ever used coercion on me?”

  “Yeah.” He brushed the back of his fingers across her cheeks. A muscle in his jaw twitched.

  “When?”

  “After you met Emily and Todd the first time. I coerced you to go home and sleep.” He licked his lip and looked away. “And at the bonfire. You were biting your lip. I never knew true desire until that moment. I wanted you so bad. I could taste you. I coerced you to kiss me. When you told me you never kissed someone before, it did something to me. I had stolen something so special from you.” He lowered his chin to rest on her head, unable to look at her.

  “My first kiss was still with you.” She twisted the button on his shirtsleeve.

  “I can’t give you that memory back. I promised myself I would never do it again. I’ll never coerce you to do anything again.” He kissed the top of her head. “I can’t now even if I wanted too. As long as you wear that bracelet.” Holding up her arm to view the bracelet, he kissed the inside of her wrist.

  Chapter 20

  She stepped back a foot from him and unfastened the bracelet, letting it fall to the ground. She didn’t want any barriers between them when they merged as one.

  When the charm of the mighty brotherhood tapped against the rock, she stood there. Trucker couldn’t stop from breathing her in. He knew what she was doing, she was leaving nothing between them. She trusted him. A trust, he knew, he didn’t deserve.

  “I won’t stop. I need this, damn it.” The desperation in his voice came to no surprise to either of them.

  He grabbed her hand, and had her shoved up against the trunk of a nearby tree. His sweet Angel. She made his heart spark with a simple smile, then he finally spoke to her and she consumed him. He was hers for the taking.

  He ran both of his hands down her body, trying like hell to memorize each curve. It wasn’t enough to ease the burn raging through him. He needed her naked. He had her shirt in his grasped and ripped from her body. He didn’t have time for buttons. She moaned as he greedily stroked her mouth with his own. But even with him assaulting her mouth with his tongue, she lost no time in stripping him from his own clothes.

  He growled against her mouth. He needed more. More of his sweet, sweet angel. He stepped back from her to view her totally naked body. He wanted to see what no one else had ever had the privilege to view. His Julie naked. She was for his eyes only. No one else ever. He cupped her breast in his hands. They were perfect. He had always viewed himself as an ass man but not with Julie. He was fucking obsessed with her breast.

  She stroked over his cock. It was already so hard it ached. Falling to his knees, he shoved her legs apart and flicked his tongue across her mound, lapping at her clit that was already swollen and ready. Julie called out Trucker’s name and fell back on her elbows. She opened her legs wider when he realized she was lying on the cold, hard ground. That was not the way he wanted his Julie to experience her first time. He vanished from her sight only to reappear a few seconds later with his mattress thrown over his shoulder and holding a blanket. He threw the mattress on the ground.

  “My angel is going to make love on a bed,” he said and bounced on top of the mattress, patting the spot beside him.

  When she crawled over next to him, he wasted no time in assuming his position over her. Seeing her open up so easily for him almost made him come on the spot. He growled. He had better control of himself then that. But then again, he had never truly been with Julie, and she was like no other girl. She was the one.

  “Where are your wings?” Julie asked as she rubbed her hand over his back.

  “My girl is going to make love to a man not a freak of nature,” Trucker rumbled in her ear.

  “My freak,” she repeated. “Kiss me again. Please.”

  Kiss me, please. Fuck she was too damn sweet. His angel wanted a kiss, he sure as hell was not going to disappoint. He pushed her legs apart and nestled between them without breaking the sweetest damn kiss. Fuck, she owned him, and would soon have his body completely. He tore his mouth off of hers, and lowered down over her until his teeth snagged the nipple of her left breast. The small whimper that escaped her lips only caused him to suck harder. He feas
ted like a starving man

  Her body bucked against him as he let her nipple pop free from the tight grip his mouth had of it. She moaned out from the emptiness she instantly felt. He hooked his arm under her knee and trailed a line of the softest kisses down her belly then her mound.

  “Truck,” she cried out, and yanked her fingers through his hair. She loved the length of his hair. Short enough to be manly, long enough to pull the shit out of when he was driving her insane.

  His piercing blue eyes locked with her green ones as his tongue slipped over her clit.

  “Fuck,” Trucker cursed. “You taste even sweeter than you are, and you’re pretty damn sweet,” he added before running his tongue back through her folds. The world around her erupted in a kaleidoscope of colors, her breathing ceased as untold amount of pleasure coursed through her.

  Tori had once tried to describe what an orgasm felt like, she failed miserably. Nothing could have prepared Julie for the mind blogging feelings she felt thanks to the talented tongue of Trucker Castleman.

  It wasn’t until she had come down from the highest of highs that she realized that Trucker had raised back up over her body. “I need to be inside of you,” he whispered into her ear. “Now.”

  She winced at the invasion as the tip of his shaft penetrated her.

  “Holyfuck, my love, you are so damn wet,” he said with a strained voice as he pressed further into her. “Too damn perfect. I love you, Julie Danielle.”

  He pushed in a smudge further when the pain hit Julie. Trucker froze. The veins in his neck stood out as he held perfectly still.

  Julie tensing up under him, stopped him dead in his tracks. He had hit the barrier he had expected. He didn’t want her to hurt. Hell, he wanted her to love it because he knew he was as close to heaven as he would ever get.

  “Move, baby, I’m okay,” she whispered as a single teardrop slid down her cheek.

  He looked away as he slid all the way in. Fuck, he needed to gain control of himself. This was about Julie and her needs. But it felt perfect.

  Her breast swayed and bounced as he started to move inside of her. His hands itched to touch them. His teeth elongated. He clutched his mouth together. He wouldn’t bite her their first time. Hell, he was desperate too. The evil in him didn’t care. Panic caused his lungs to hammer in his chest. He ached for her blood. He didn’t deserve her but he was going to prove to himself he could put her needs in front of his own.

  The only thing that kept his mind on the task at hand was the feel of his cock getting squeezed by her hot core. Hot velvet encased him. Focusing his eyes on her, he witness the moment when the pain subdued and the wall of ecstasy hit.

  Pumping in and out of the tightest suction, he threw his head back and growled. The sounds she was making only reinforce she was enjoying it too. Trucker felt like he owned the world. He did own his world. He was the only one to ever experience her like that. The only one who ever would.

  She tucked her legs around his waist, only opening herself up more for him. He moved his hand down to brush his thumb over her swollen clit. He was about to come apart inside of her, and he was going to make sure she came with him.

  She started screaming out his name over and over again. He wasn’t sure if he screamed, growled, or stayed perfectly silent as the most powerful feeling rocketed through his body sending him to place he didn’t even know existed.

  ******

  Dear Diary,

  It’s about 3 o’clock in the morning, and I still can’t sleep. I can’t comprehend everything. What Trucker is, what I’m becoming? What he makes me feel. He held me for hours after the most intense experience of my short life. I gave him my virginity. A gift I wish I could give him again and again. He didn’t bond with me however. He didn’t even bite me. He did let me know this was it for him, and they said they would let us be as long as I follow the plan. The problem is I don’t know what the plan is. God, I have always tried to do what is right the problem is, I don’t know what is right anymore. Please help me, send me a sign.

  Julie Emison

  Continue from yesterday.

  I’m not ready for class today. My parents where easy enough to fool after the last few days. My mom is sure I have the flu or something. Trucker won’t be as easy. He will blame himself. I can’t help it. I need a Julie day, a day for me. Please let Trucker understand.

  JDE

  Julie needed a mental health day with a capital ME. A day of dipping her potato chips right in the ice cream carton, never getting out of her pajamas, painting her toenails, and watching Trash TV until she felt mindless. However, there was one kink in the plan, Trucker would be there any minute. She thought, hoped, prayed a text might keep him away.

  Hey my love, I’m taking

  a Julie day. I’m fine, just

  need a ‘me’ day. I’ll see you

  after class.

  All my love,

  your Angel

  Why?

  I won’t let you leave

  me.

  I’m not leaving.

  I just need some time to think.

  OK, but I don’t like it

  I’m trying

  Try harder

  Julie snuggled up in a large blanket on the couch. She was trying. The day just needed to be normal. She wanted to know that the world around her had not gone totally crazy. It was soothing eating junk food, watching mindless TV, and clearing her mind. She enjoyed the day far greater than she dreamed possible. She couldn’t believe how fast the time had flown by when Trucker walked in.

  His head was slumped. His cocky walked all but gone. He stood at the end of the couch and glared at her. She was inarticulate. After everything they had been through, shit, have done, how could one little ‘me’ day leave him destroyed? He didn’t speak at all, just looked at her like his whole world was gone.

  “Hi,” she finally managed to say and smiled.

  His head cocked to the side as he studied her. He seemed torn; unable to process that she was smiling at him and that she was glad to see him. Julie sat up and patted the seat beside her.

  “Did I hurt you?” he asked so warmly, tapping the side of the couch with his foot. “If I did, I’m so fucking sorry.”

  “No, I feel great. I promise.”

  “You regret it?”

  “No, I want to do it again, hopefully today. I simply needed some alone time. I didn’t do it because I wanted to be away from you.”

  He softly stroked a gash left on her cheek from her clawing during his dream. She felt something in his touch she had not sensed in a while, hesitation.

  “Julie, I gave you today, but no more.” He took a deep breath. “You are the most frustrating person. Ugh. I have spent my whole life avoiding emotions. Everything I know, I feel . . . goes out the window with you.” He ran his hand through his hair, spun around, and fell down beside her. “I need to know you’re mine. I need reassurances that you’re not going anywhere. I need my control back.”

  Julie was at a loss for words. How could she convince him that she was not going anywhere? “I’m here.”

  “What’s been the worst? The worst you’ve endured through this?”

  “Hearing that Emily was yours,” she answered and swallowed a gulp of air.

  “Ugg,” he said and slammed his fist down onto the couch, crushing a spring. “Angel, we’ve been through this. I want you. After yesterday, I hope you are sure of that.” He turned slowly and cupped her face in his hand.

  “I’m sure, but when I met her dad, Eddie, he asked if I’ve met Emily because ‘after all, she’s Trucker’s.’ That hurt.” Her eyes stung with tears as she bit down on her lower lip to hide its quivering. Emily was meant to be his, rather Julie liked it or Trucker wanted it.

  “I’m a different person because of you. Do you know when the first time I ever touched my sister was? Look at her without hate in my eye?” he asked softly, and started tracing her bottom lip with the pad of his thumb.

  “Trucker, you lov
e your sister.” Julie didn’t understand where he was going.

  “Now because of you. The first time I saw you . . .”

  She nodded.

  “You can’t begin to understand what you did to me, but on my way back home. Sea started singing which always sent me into a fit, but that day when I looked at her, she smiled. She reminded me so much of you. I didn’t know if I would ever see you again. I felt empty inside. I reached over and she wrapped her hand around my finger. It stung. A human’s touch always stings, but not our kind. Except Sea’s, because she’s good.” He laid his forehead on Julie’s shoulder. She caressed his dark hair. “That was the first time I ever touched her. Now, she’s my second love, only you out rank her.”

  “I didn’t know.” She couldn’t imagine him ever not wrapped around Sea’s finger.

  “I don’t touch humans. Only you. It’ll always be you.”

  “I never realized.” He was touchy with her. She thought about it, he was standoffish. The more Julie thought about it, she had never seen him touch a living soul except her and Sea not even his mom. His mom touched him, but he didn’t return the touch.

  “I can’t take a human’s touch, not since I first changed,” he whispered in her ear. “Are you sore, baby? I need you,” he said and started crawling over her pushing her back against the sofa cushions.

  “A little.”

  He licked the corner of his lips. “I’ll kiss it and make it feel better.”

  Chapter 21

  One day turned into another, Julie worked at showing Trucker she was forever his. It was easy work. Each second they were together, each moment they shared only cemented them as a couple. Trucker had eased up and relaxed. Life was finally flowing in an effortless and normal pattern. Julie didn’t even fret over the upcoming holidays.

 
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