Made of steel (made of s.., p.32
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       Made of Steel (Made of Steel Series Book 1), p.32

           Ivy Smoak
 

  Chapter 26

  Friday

  "I can't wait until the game tonight," Kins said as we sat down in the front of the room. She had stopped protesting about our seating arrangement after our second sociology class. I was pretty sure she actually loved it. The class was interesting and there were no distractions in the front row.

  "You said you were going with Patrick, right?" Apparently the soccer team here was amazing. I thought that I'd be going to the first game of the season with Eli. We had even talked about making it a double date with Kins and Patrick. But I hadn't heard from Eli since yesterday morning. I hadn't mentioned Eli's sudden lack of interest in me to Kins yet. I didn't feel up to talking about it.

  "Yeah. But, I almost forgot to show you." She pulled out a flier from her backpack. "Our whole floor is going together."

  I didn't want to face Miles again. I didn't want him to ask if I was going to go to the support group. Part of me wanted to go. But I couldn't talk about my problems. My problems weren't supposed to exist anymore. "So are you going with Patrick or the floor?"

  "Both. Patrick already agreed to sit with our floor."

  I pressed my lips together. She didn't say it, but I knew what she was doing. Clearly she wanted to use Patrick to make Miles jealous. Even though I couldn't hang out with Miles, for some reason I didn't want Kins to either. Not that I was jealous. I sighed. Am I jealous? Either way, I didn't think I could stand to watch her flirt with him or later hear her casually talk about hooking up with him. No matter how small, a tiny piece of my heart would always belong to the first boy I had ever loved. I almost felt protective of him. Maybe I did want to see him again. I liked how my hand felt in his. I liked the way he offered to walk me home. I liked that he was trying to look out for me. But that was his job. It didn't mean he really cared. So why was my heart telling me that he did? Our past meant nothing because I wasn't Summer Brooks anymore.

  I ran my fingers across my Band-Aid, imagining it was Miles' touch. I had dreamed of him last night. I wanted to push it aside and blame it on the fact that I missed Eli. But that wasn't it. When Miles looked at me, when he touched me, it felt different than it did with Eli. It made me feel like Summer again. And that's what was so scary. It was almost like I wanted him to know it was me. That's why I needed to avoid him. I needed to ignore my feelings.

  "So you're coming, right?" Kins said.

  "I'm not sure. Soccer isn't really my thing."

  "Oh, come on. It's not mine either. But all those sexy players..."

  I laughed. "Well, now that's tempting." I was being sarcastic, but her eyes seemed to light up. "I'm sure you're just going to be flirting with our RA the whole time anyway." I was certainly acting jealous. Just thinking about Kins flirting with Miles made me frown. I didn't want that. How could I deal with that?

  Kins laughed. "No, but I will be staring at him."

  "What do you mean?"

  "He's the team's striker. God, I can't wait to see him in action."

  I looked down at my notebook. I remembered when Miles first found out he'd be the striker for his youth league team. It felt like a lifetime ago. He had been so excited. Good for him for sticking with it. I knew it was a huge deal for someone to make the team here.

  "Sadie, it's going to be so much fun. And I know you have off tonight. We can go tailgating beforehand."

  "You want to sneak away and get drunk? Are you trying to get thrown out of school?"

  "No, I'm trying to get the full college experience." She lightly nudged my shoulder with hers.

  I tried to hide my cringe.

  "So, you in?"

  What else was I going to do on a Friday night? I was supposed to be blending in and everyone was going to the game tonight. Besides, I had never gotten to go to one of Miles' games. I always wished I had. "Okay, yeah, I'm in."

  She beamed at me.

 
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