Slapstick or Lonesome No More!

      Kurt Vonnegut
Slapstick or Lonesome No More!

**Slapstick **presents an apocalyptic vision as seen through the eyes of the current King of Manhattan (and last President of the United States), a wickedly irreverent look at the all-too-possible results of today’s follies. But even the end of life-as-we-know-it is transformed by Kurt Vonnegut’s pen into hilarious farce—a final slapstick that may be the Almighty’s joke on us all. *From the Trade Paperback edition.*

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    Ungifted

      Gordon Korman
Ungifted

The word gifted has never been applied to a kid like Donovan Curtis. It's usually more like Don't try this at home. So when the troublemaker pulls a major prank at his middle school, he thinks he's finally gone too far. But thanks to a mix-up by one of the administrators, instead of getting in trouble, Donovan is sent to the Academy of Scholastic Distinction (ASD), a special program for gifted and talented students.

It wasn't exactly what Donovan had intended, but there couldn't be a more perfect hideout for someone like him. That is, if he can manage to fool people whose IQs are above genius level. And that becomes harder and harder as the students and teachers of ASD grow to realize that Donovan may not be good at math or science (or just about anything). But after an ongoing experiment with a live human (sister), an unforgettably dramatic middle-school dance, and the most astonishing come-from-behind robot victory ever, Donovan shows that his gifts might be exactly what the ASD students never knew they needed.


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    Further Under the Duvet

      Marian Keyes
Further Under the Duvet

Slide "Further Under the Duvet", get yourself comfortable and let Marian take you places you've never been before. Places like the Irish air-guitar championships, a shopping trip to Bloomingdales with a difference and Cannes with a chronic case of Villa-itis. Along the way you'll encounter knicker-politics, fake tans, sticky-out ears and passionate love affairs both with make-up and Toblerones. And of course, agony aunt, Mammy Walsh is on hand to solve all your problems. Hilarious and poignant, down-to-earth and moving, Marian's long-awaited second volume of journalism and previously unpublished writing is the modern woman's perfect companion. So put the kettle on and grab that Kit Kat Chunky everything else will wait.


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    The Wishmakers

      Tyler Whitesides
The Wishmakers

Twelve-year-old Ace’s life is about to change in the most unexpected and magical ways—all because of a peanut butter jar.

When he opens it, he inadvertently releases a genie named Ridge. Now a Wishmaker, Ace is given a week to complete a seemingly impossible quest, and if he fails the world will end in the most tragic (but cuddly) way imaginable.

Luckily, Ridge can help by granting Ace an unlimited number of wishes…as long as Ace is willing to accept the consequences. The bigger the wish, the greater the consequence. So, if Ace wants to avoid having pogo sticks for legs or his clothes turn invisible, he'll have to be careful what he wishes for and get a little creative.

Perfect for fans of Dan Gutman and Max Brallier, this new middle grade series by Tyler Whitesides (author of the Janitors series) is a wonderful mix of unpredictable magic, zany humor, and daring adventure. You’ll wish it never ends!


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    Save Rafe!

      James Patterson
Save Rafe!

James Patterson's hilarious story of perseverance and courage shows everyone's favorite troublemaker, Rafe Khatchadorian, the star of the Middle School series, learning to become a leader at long last.

After a rough summer, Rafe is heading back to the dreaded Hills Village Middle School, the site of the very worst years of his life. And as if that's not bad enough, he's learned that he's going to be held back a year unless he can prove himself on an outdoor survival excursion--complete with dangerous white-water rafting, dizzying rock climbing, and fanatical counselors. Rafe and the rest of the pack of "delinquent" trainees are forced to cooperate as they prepare for the final test: a solo excursion in the deep woods. Can Rafe come out of the experience in one piece? And if he does, he go home as the same insecure kid?


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    How to Take the Ex Out of Ex-Boyfriend

      Janette Rallison
How to Take the Ex Out of Ex-Boyfriend

Sixteen-year-old Giovanna Petrizzo finds it hard enough to fit in. Three years since her family moved to Texas, she's still the newcomer compared to everyone around her. It doesn't help matters when her twin brother, Dante, takes on the mayor's son by running for class president. The least she could expect, though, would be for her boyfriend, Jesse, to support their cause. But Jesse's apparent defection triggers Giovanna's rash emotional side, and before she knows it, she's turned Jesse from the boy of her dreams to the ex-boyfriend she dreams of winning back.

In her trademark style, Janette Rallison delivers a laugh-out-loud romantic comedy that only leaves readers wanting more.


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    True Confessions of Margaret Hilda Roberts Aged 14 ¼

      Sue Townsend
True Confessions of Margaret Hilda Roberts Aged 14 ¼

Now available as an ebook novella is the brilliantly funny True Confessions of Margaret Hilda Roberts by Sue Townsend

Tuesday May 24th

Had a lie in until 6am. Then got out of bed and had a brisk rub down with the pumice stone. I opened the curtains and saw that the sun was shining brightly. (A suspicion is growing in my mind that the BBC is not to be trusted.)

Margaret Hilda Roberts is a rather ambitious 14 � year old grocer's daughter from Grantham. She can't abide laziness, finds four hours of chemistry homework delightful and believes she is of royal birth - or at least destined for great things. But Margaret knows that good things never come to those who wait . . .

These are the secret diary entries of a girl born into an ordinary life, yet who might just go on to become something really rather extraordinary, and she is brilliantly brought vividly to life by bestselling author Sue Townsend, Britain's favourite comic writer for over three decades.

'Essential reading for Mole followers' Times Educational Supplement

'Wonderfully funny and sharp as knives' Sunday Times

Sue Townsend is Britain's favourite comic author. Her hugely successful novels include eight Adrian Mole books, The Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman (Aged 55�), Number Ten, Ghost Children, The Queen and I, Queen Camilla and The Woman Who Went to Bed For a Year, all of which are highly acclaimed bestsellers. She has also written numerous well-received plays. She lives in Leicester, where she was born and grew up.


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    God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian

      Kurt Vonnegut
God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian

From Slapstick's "Turkey Farm" to Slaughterhouse-Five's eternity in a Tralfamadorean zoo cage with Montana Wildhack, the question of the afterlife never left Kurt Vonnegut's mind. In God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian, Vonnegut skips back and forth between life and the Afterlife as if the difference between them were rather slight. In thirty odd "interviews," Vonnegut trips down "the blue tunnel to the pearly gates" in the guise of a roving reporter for public radio, conducting interviews: with Salvatore Biagini, a retired construction worker who died of a heart attack while rescuing his schnauzer from a pit bull, with John Brown, still smoldering 140 years after his death by hanging, with William Shakespeare, who rubs Vonnegut the wrong way, and with socialist and labor leader Eugene Victor Debs, one of Vonnegut's personal heroes.
What began as a series of ninety-second radio interludes for WNYC, New York City's public radio station, evolved into this provocative collection of musings about who and what we live for, and how much it all matters in the end. From the original portrait by his friend Jules Feiffer that graces the cover, to a final entry from Kilgore Trout, God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian remains a joy.


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    Are These My Basoomas I See Before Me?

      Louise Rennison
Are These My Basoomas I See Before Me?

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas! The tenth marvy book in the Confessions of Georgia Nicolson is here! Get ready to laugh like a loon on loon tablets. It's the FINAL instalment of Georgia's fab and hilarious diary! Does Georgia escape the cakeshop of luuurve? Can there be more heartbreaknosity in store? Will the Sex God pop up again unexpectedly (oo-er)! And what about the supreme accidental snogmaster Dave the Laugh? Will she FINALLY choose her only one and only? So many boys, so little time!


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    The Firework Exploded

      Tara Sivec
The Firework Exploded

Sam and Noel's whirlwind Christmas romance shot through Valentine's Day and is exploding on the Fourth of July!

"You should get married on the 4th," they said. "It will be so romantic," they said.

Did you know that during a pyrotechnic display, a single firework travels 481 feet per second and can take out a small village? Did you know it can also singe the ball hair off of any man standing within a mile radius of said-pyrotechnic display (and singed ball hair smells a lot like a sh*t-filled baby diaper that's been lit on fire), and it can make a vintage wedding dress go up in flames like a barn full of dry hay?

Yeah, me either...


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    My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry

      Fredrik Backman
My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry

Elsa is seven years old and different. Her grandmother is seventy-seven years old and crazy, standing-on-the-balcony-firing-paintball-guns-at-men-who-want-to-talk-about-Jesus-crazy. She is also Elsa's best, and only, friend. At night Elsa takes refuge in her grandmother's stories, in the Land of Almost-Awake and the Kingdom of Miamas where everybody is different and nobody needs to be normal.

When Elsa's grandmother dies and leaves behind a series of letters apologizing to people she has wronged, Elsa's greatest adventure begins. Her grandmother's letters lead her to an apartment building full of drunks, monsters, attack dogs, and totally ordinary old crones, but also to the truth about fairytales and kingdoms and a grandmother like no other.


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    Dark Lord of Derkholm

      Diana Wynne Jones
Dark Lord of Derkholm

Everyone - wizards, soldiers, farmers, elves, dragons, kings and queens alike - is fed up with Mr Chesney's Pilgrim Parties: groups of tourists from the world next door who descend en masse every year to take the Grand Tour. What they expect are all the trappings of a grand fantasy adventure, including the Evil Enchantress, Wizard Guides, the Dark Lord, Winged Minions, and all. And every year different people are chosen to play these parts. But now they've had enough: Mr Chesney may be backed by a very powerful demon, but the Oracles have spoken. Now it's up to the Wizard Derk and his son Blade, this year's Dark Lord and Wizard Guide, not to mention Blade's griffin brothers and sisters, to save the world from Mr Chesney's depredations.


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    Love Among the Chickens

      P. G. Wodehouse
Love Among the Chickens

After seeing his friend Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge for the first time in years, author Jeremy Garnet is dragged along on holiday to Ukridge's new chicken farm in Dorset. Hilarious situations abound with Garnet's troublesome courting of a girl living nearby and the struggles on the farm, which are worsened by Ukridge's bizarre business ideas and methods.

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    Undead and Unwed

      MaryJanice Davidson
Undead and Unwed

It'a been a helluva week for Betsy Taylor. First, she loses her job. Then, to top things off, she's killed in a car accident. But what really bites (besides waking up in the morgue dressed in a pink suit and cheap shoes courtesy of her stepmother) is that she can't seem to stay dead. Every night she rises with a horrible craving for blood. She's not taking too well to a liquid diet. Worst of all, her new friends have the ridiculous idea that Betsy is the prophesied vampire queen, and they want her help in overthrowing the most obnoxious, power-hungry vampire in five centuries - a badly dressed Bela Lugosi wannabe, natch. Frankly, Betsy couldn't care less about vamp politics, but they have a powerful weapon of persuasion: designer shoes. How can any self-respecting girl say no? But a collection of Ferragamos isn't the only temptation for Betsy. It's just a lot safer than the scrumptious Sinclair - a seductive bloodsucker whose sexy gaze seems as dangerous as a stake through the heart. . .

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