Undead and Unwed

      MaryJanice Davidson
Undead and Unwed

It'a been a helluva week for Betsy Taylor. First, she loses her job. Then, to top things off, she's killed in a car accident. But what really bites (besides waking up in the morgue dressed in a pink suit and cheap shoes courtesy of her stepmother) is that she can't seem to stay dead. Every night she rises with a horrible craving for blood. She's not taking too well to a liquid diet. Worst of all, her new friends have the ridiculous idea that Betsy is the prophesied vampire queen, and they want her help in overthrowing the most obnoxious, power-hungry vampire in five centuries - a badly dressed Bela Lugosi wannabe, natch. Frankly, Betsy couldn't care less about vamp politics, but they have a powerful weapon of persuasion: designer shoes. How can any self-respecting girl say no? But a collection of Ferragamos isn't the only temptation for Betsy. It's just a lot safer than the scrumptious Sinclair - a seductive bloodsucker whose sexy gaze seems as dangerous as a stake through the heart. . .

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    God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian

      Kurt Vonnegut
God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian

From Slapstick's "Turkey Farm" to Slaughterhouse-Five's eternity in a Tralfamadorean zoo cage with Montana Wildhack, the question of the afterlife never left Kurt Vonnegut's mind. In God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian, Vonnegut skips back and forth between life and the Afterlife as if the difference between them were rather slight. In thirty odd "interviews," Vonnegut trips down "the blue tunnel to the pearly gates" in the guise of a roving reporter for public radio, conducting interviews: with Salvatore Biagini, a retired construction worker who died of a heart attack while rescuing his schnauzer from a pit bull, with John Brown, still smoldering 140 years after his death by hanging, with William Shakespeare, who rubs Vonnegut the wrong way, and with socialist and labor leader Eugene Victor Debs, one of Vonnegut's personal heroes.
What began as a series of ninety-second radio interludes for WNYC, New York City's public radio station, evolved into this provocative collection of musings about who and what we live for, and how much it all matters in the end. From the original portrait by his friend Jules Feiffer that graces the cover, to a final entry from Kilgore Trout, God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian remains a joy.


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    The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

      Douglas Adams
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. Many races believe that it was created by some sort of god, though the Jatravartid people of Viltvodle VI believe that the entire Universe was in fact sneezed out of the nose of a being called the Great Green Arkleseizure. The Jatravartids, who live in perpetual fear of the time they call The Coming of The Great White Handkerchief, are small blue creatures with more than fifty arms each, who are therefore unique in being the only race in history to have invented the aerosol deodorant before the wheel.” As this popularly acclaimed, internationally best-selling sequel to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy opens, the hapless Earthman Arthur Dent has just escaped certain death on the planet Magrathea. He now faces certain death from a Vogon spaceship, unless the ghost of ex-Galactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox’s grandfather can lend a spectral helping hand. As he must, because Zaphod must fulfill a mission he’s totally forgotten about—to search for the man who truly rules the universe. Naturally, there’s time for everyone to stop for a bite to eat at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe first… In general, these first two books— The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and this volume—are considered to be the definitive books in the Hitchhiker’s series. Part of the reason why this is so may be because these first two books follow to a significant degree the plotline of the BBC radio series that inspired them, although the events are somewhat rearranged and some additional incidents added. The subsequent books take the story in an entirely new direction, far past the timeline of the radio series.

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    How to Take the Ex Out of Ex-Boyfriend

      Janette Rallison
How to Take the Ex Out of Ex-Boyfriend

Sixteen-year-old Giovanna Petrizzo finds it hard enough to fit in. Three years since her family moved to Texas, she's still the newcomer compared to everyone around her. It doesn't help matters when her twin brother, Dante, takes on the mayor's son by running for class president. The least she could expect, though, would be for her boyfriend, Jesse, to support their cause. But Jesse's apparent defection triggers Giovanna's rash emotional side, and before she knows it, she's turned Jesse from the boy of her dreams to the ex-boyfriend she dreams of winning back.

In her trademark style, Janette Rallison delivers a laugh-out-loud romantic comedy that only leaves readers wanting more.


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    Where the Wild Things Bite

      Molly Harper
Where the Wild Things Bite

Delivering a rare book to a valued customer is definitely part of mild-mannered archivist Anna Winthrop's job description. You know what isn't? Protecting her precious cargo from mid-flight theft by the very pilot who is flying her to Half-Moon Hollow...while trying to appear as unappetizing as possible to the only other passenger, a vampire. Undead bookstore owner Jane Jameson could be waiting a very long time for her book. Possibly forever.

Fortunately, Anna's dashing fanged companion Finn Palmeroy helps her fend off the attack, but not before their plane crash lands in the forest hundreds of miles from civilization. Great, now she's stranded with a priceless tome and a rakish vampire whose bedtime is fast approaching. Why does everyone want this book so badly, anyway? Anna just wants to get it to Jane before Finn decides to turn her into dinner-or sweep her off her feet. Okay, the second option is really tempting. But they're not out of the woods yet...


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    Love Among the Chickens

      P. G. Wodehouse
Love Among the Chickens

After seeing his friend Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge for the first time in years, author Jeremy Garnet is dragged along on holiday to Ukridge's new chicken farm in Dorset. Hilarious situations abound with Garnet's troublesome courting of a girl living nearby and the struggles on the farm, which are worsened by Ukridge's bizarre business ideas and methods.

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    Are These My Basoomas I See Before Me?

      Louise Rennison
Are These My Basoomas I See Before Me?

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas! The tenth marvy book in the Confessions of Georgia Nicolson is here! Get ready to laugh like a loon on loon tablets. It's the FINAL instalment of Georgia's fab and hilarious diary! Does Georgia escape the cakeshop of luuurve? Can there be more heartbreaknosity in store? Will the Sex God pop up again unexpectedly (oo-er)! And what about the supreme accidental snogmaster Dave the Laugh? Will she FINALLY choose her only one and only? So many boys, so little time!


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    Save Rafe!

      James Patterson
Save Rafe!

James Patterson's hilarious story of perseverance and courage shows everyone's favorite troublemaker, Rafe Khatchadorian, the star of the Middle School series, learning to become a leader at long last.

After a rough summer, Rafe is heading back to the dreaded Hills Village Middle School, the site of the very worst years of his life. And as if that's not bad enough, he's learned that he's going to be held back a year unless he can prove himself on an outdoor survival excursion--complete with dangerous white-water rafting, dizzying rock climbing, and fanatical counselors. Rafe and the rest of the pack of "delinquent" trainees are forced to cooperate as they prepare for the final test: a solo excursion in the deep woods. Can Rafe come out of the experience in one piece? And if he does, he go home as the same insecure kid?


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    The Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom

      Christopher Healy
The Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom

Prince Liam. Prince Frederic. Prince Duncan. Prince Gustav. You’ve never heard of them, have you? These are the princes who saved Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White, and Rapunzel, respectively, and yet, thanks to those lousy bards who wrote the tales, you likely know them only as Prince Charming. But all of this is about to change.

Rejected by their princesses and cast out of their castles, the princes stumble upon an evil plot that could endanger each of their kingdoms. Now it’s up to them to triumph over their various shortcomings, take on trolls, bandits, dragons, witches, and other assorted terrors, and become the heroes no one ever thought they could be.

Christopher Healy’s Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom is a completely original take on the world of fairy tales, the truth about what happens after “happily ever after.” It’s a must-have for middle grade readers who enjoy their fantasy adventures mixed with the humor of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. Witty black-and-white drawings by Todd Harris add to the fun.


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    Stanley Yelnats' Survival Guide to Camp Green Lake

      Louis Sachar
Stanley Yelnats' Survival Guide to Camp Green Lake

Imagine your misfortune if, like Stanley Yelnats, you found yourself the victim of a miscarriage of justice and interned in Camp Green Lake Correctional Institute. How would you survive? Thoughtfully Louis Sachar has learnt his knowledge and expertise to the subject and created this wonderful, quirky, and utterly essential guide to toughing it out in the Texan desert. Spiced with lots of information about the characters in "Holes", as well as lots of do's and don'ts for survival, this is an essential book for all those hundreds of thousands of "Holes'" fans.


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    The Dragonlings’ Very Special Valentine

      S. E. Smith
The Dragonlings’ Very Special Valentine

A batch of heart-shaped cookies stirs the imagination of the dragonlings and their friends when Carmen shares a magical tale of love. It will take a very special Valentine, a few mischievous dragonlings, their best friends, some clueless warriors, and two enchanting Goddesses to help a lonely woman find the dragon who loves her.

Love is in the air and not even the mighty warriors of the Valdier, Curizan, and Sarafin are immune to the power of celebrating their feelings for the women who have changed their lives. Hearts, glue, and glitter abound when the warriors help the dragonlings on their quest to assist Cupid in this delightful tale of love, hope, and happiness.


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    The Royal Mess

      MaryJanice Davidson
The Royal Mess

Jeffrey Rodinov is descended from one of the oldest families in Alaska, and a Rodinov has been protecting a Baranov for generations. It's a job Jeffrey takes VERY seriously. Six feet four inches, 220 fatless lbs. , black hair, and blue eyes;weapon of choice: the 9 mm Beretta. In a pinch? His fists. IQ: 157. (Yes, crossword puzzle, in ink, just after taking out the guy behind you. No thanks necessary. ) No one ever sees Jeffrey Rodinov coming, and no one--not even a mouthy, illegitimate princess--is going to keep him from playing bodyguard when his king decrees it. Right. But no Rodinov ever had to protect Princess Nicole Krenski. Her credentials? Hunting guide in the Alaskan wilderness. Smart. Stubborn bordering on exasperating. Five-seven. Blue eyes. Very kissable mouth. Very kissable neck, back, legs, wrists, earlobes. The lady says she doesn't need a bodyguard, but that's where she's wrong. Someone needs to watch her and show her the royal ropes (and cuffs. . . and scarves. . . ). Someone who can make her feel like a queen--in and out of bed. And that's a job Jeffrey Rodinov takes very seriously as well. . .

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    Dark Lord of Derkholm

      Diana Wynne Jones
Dark Lord of Derkholm

Everyone - wizards, soldiers, farmers, elves, dragons, kings and queens alike - is fed up with Mr Chesney's Pilgrim Parties: groups of tourists from the world next door who descend en masse every year to take the Grand Tour. What they expect are all the trappings of a grand fantasy adventure, including the Evil Enchantress, Wizard Guides, the Dark Lord, Winged Minions, and all. And every year different people are chosen to play these parts. But now they've had enough: Mr Chesney may be backed by a very powerful demon, but the Oracles have spoken. Now it's up to the Wizard Derk and his son Blade, this year's Dark Lord and Wizard Guide, not to mention Blade's griffin brothers and sisters, to save the world from Mr Chesney's depredations.


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