Diary of an abducted spa.., p.1
Diary of an Abducted Space Seed,
of an Abducted
Copyright 2017 Debbie McKelvey
A free download for you!
If you can’t get enough of the space seed adventures, you can go space gazing with Archie Arbuckle and Great-Grandpa Wellington and join them on their quest to find an extra-terrestrial being in Escapades of a Space Gazer.
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Click here to get started: escapadesofaspacegazer.wordpress.com
Watch out for Space Salad
The adventure doesn’t end here!
Don’t forget - after you follow Tozer, the abducted Space Seed, on his exploits here, there’s loads more strange goings on as the adventure continues in Space Salad - available now from your favourite online bookseller.
Chapter 1 - 2 September 2015 - The day the trouble began
Chapter 2 - October 2015 - Working on a plan
Chapter 3 - November 2015 - D-Day
Chapter 4 - December 2015 - Horror scene
Chapter 5 - January 2016 - Blooming marvellous
Chapter 6 - February 2016 - Space life
Chapter 7 - 2 March 2016 - Abducted again
Chapter 8 - 18 April 2016 - Unkempt, smudgy-faced, clotpoles!
Chapter 9 - May 2016 - Be on stand-by!
Other books by the author
About the author
2nd September 2015 -
The day the trouble began
Please help me!
Anyone out there reading this I’m begging you, get your act together and come rescue me – A-S-A-P!
OK, so I know you’re not going to believe this – but let’s give it a try…
I’m a seed - (that’s the easy bit to believe) - and I’ve been abducted and taken to space!
Yes, yes, I know – you’re thinking why would anyone kidnap a seed and take it to space?
WELL, I DON’T KNOW! But if I did I’d be the first to tell you! In fact, I was rather hoping you’d be able to tell me!
I had bright prospects before all this happened, you know.
I belonged to a company - a very reputable company - a British Vegetable Breeding Company. These people are experts in their field (no pun intended there!) and with them - I was destined to be one of the best.
Yes, I am a rocket seed and for me the only way is up! (Pun definitely intended there!)
I had been picked by the company to travel to exotic places like Kazakhstan where they were running tests on me to find out just exactly how brilliant I am.
As a rather handsome seed, I and my cousin Arugula (or Argy as I call him for short) were real charmers with the girls (or so we thought anyway).
In the evenings we used to have a ball, hanging out with the other seeds and the big boy vegetables, and we’d crack jokes and have fun.
We kept the tomatoes going, saying they’d turned red because they saw the ‘salad dressing’ and we told the salad leaves if they became ministers they’d start their Sunday services by saying ‘lettuce pray’!
We told the herb seeds that if they didn’t like our jokes they were going to have a bad ‘thyme’of it, and said if we ever met a sick lemon we would give it lemon aid!
Ah, we thought we were so funny, but now look where I am - a rocket seed on a rocket – ok, so there’s a joke in that somewhere, but I’m NOT laughing!
Yes, life was sweet – right up until today –when I was bundled into a package, smuggled onto that rocket and propelled into space!
I wasn’t alone either – there were a whole 2 kilograms of us kidnapped!
You would think someone would have noticed 2 kilograms of salad seeds go missing! But oh no!
So there I was feeling all claustrophobic and cramped and we were crammed in so tightly I thought I was going to be sick.
Then suddenly I heard a crackling radio transmission say “LAUNCH COMMAND ISSUED,” then a few seconds of silence and then “LIFT OFF.”
Lift off!!! - I was frantic.
I thought - somebody’s having a laugh with us! But then I heard the most deafening roar and I was thrust back with sheer acceleration.
As the speed increased, I was jiggling about violently. It was like being pushed up by a gigantic, invisible wave.
The force felt unbearable – like a baby elephant sitting on your face, and when I looked round cousin Argy was wibbling like a washing machine on spin cycle.
Just when I thought I could take it no more, suddenly it stopped and everything went eerily calm and floaty.
Look, if you don’t believe me there’s a rumour going round that stuff like this always ends up on YouTube, so go check it out and see if you can find anything about a Soyuz TMA-18M Rocket launching today!
You might find some clues there to help me, like just who’s responsible for this!
Expecting to see you here soon to rescue me,
Working on a plan
I’ve been waiting here for a month and you’ve STILL not arrived to help - but I guess you’re working on a plan.
I know, I know – getting to space isn’t that easy.
I’m just anxious to know what’s going on. I mean, have my captors been in touch with planet earth yet?
Are they demanding some sort of ransom?
Have you found out who they are or what they want?
I’m certain they are some kind of alien life-form – like demented Martians or nutty Neptunians or something.
I’m still stuck in this package and it’s so hard to tell what’s going on out there, but don’t worry – I’m working on a plan too!
Don’t tell anyone though!
I have to go now, but I’ll tell you everything later.
Well holy bananas!!! My beautiful little seed life was almost over today!
I stared death right in the eyeballs and survived!
And if that wasn’t hairy enough, I also discovered I’m no normal seed - I have a super-power!
For the last month I’ve been scraping a tiny hole in the corner of this package so I can escape.
Well, today was D-Day - breakthrough day.
I wanted to see what was on the other side and I wanted the other seeds to join me in the escape, but they wouldn’t come, they were all too afraid.
Cousin Argy begged me not to go, but I had to take action. I couldn’t let deep rooted fears hold me back.
Somebody had to do something and so it seemed - that somebody was me.
With my heart pounding I squeezed myself out, only to discover I was dangling over the edge of a very high pile of packages.
I desperately tried to squeeze back in again but it was too late - I could feel myself about to slip and knew I was doomed!
I closed my eyes, waiting for that tummy-churning, falling feeling, followed by a dull thud.
But it didn’t happen and that’s when I had the strangest sensation as my super-power kicked in!
Yes - I can fly!
Well, maybe not so much fly as float. But anyway, whatever way you want to describe it, I wasn’t rapidly plummeting down to face-plant the ground.
It was lovely - like floating down a lazy river, only there was no water under me.
It’s strange I’d never noticed this super-power before, when I was on earth!
Anyway, I moved slowly and gently at first and it was all very relaxing. It felt so magical and there seemed to be no up or down, just driftiness.
After a few minutes I realised I could nudge off things to steer my way around and best of all - I could do summersaults!
I was starting to have a little bit of fun with it all, when suddenly the door of the storage area I was in, opened.
I felt terrified, but this was my moment. At last I would come face to face with my captors.
I would look them in their little alien eye-balls and demand that we be freed!
And that’s when the next big shock of my day occurred – we haven’t been abducted by aliens, we’ve been abducted by SPACE HUMANS!
Yes – normal people, only they’re way up here in space.
Although I couldn’t make any sense of it, I floated right up into his face to challenge him, but I’m so small I don’t think he even saw me!
As his hand swung up he accidently swatted me, and off I went - slow-motion pinging away from him.
I thought I was never going to stop bouncing off all kinds of surfaces – cables and monitors and control panels and all sorts of strange equipment, but after a while I finally began to slow down again.
So my next plan of action is to investigate this space ship and find out just who these space humans are and what it is they want with us seeds.
Oh, it’s awful!
It’s too awful to even look!
It’s like a scene from a horror movie and I can’t even bring myself to open my eyes and see any more!
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any more diabolical – they have!
I’ve made the most shocking discovery…
We’re all experiments in a science lab!
Yes - the space humans are carrying out the most terrifying experiments on plant-kind!
For the last few weeks I’ve been floating about trying to work out an escape plan, but today I stumbled across this distressing scene in an area called the Columbus module.
It’s a cluttered place with jumbles of spaghetti cables spewing down the walls, and boxes and packaging everywhere.
It looks like a dump for dismantled dental equipment and old washing machines with their insides spilling out.
Anyway, that’s where I saw them – plants, trapped in a torture chamber!
The chamber had a name – it was called VEGGIE and its walls were like plastic bubble-wrap. The plants inside were being tortured under eerie red, blue and green LED lights.
They were strapped into small pillows with wires and syringes and instruments of torture linked to them.
I saw they were poor little zinnia plants and they were struggling to grow there with no grass or fresh air or sunshine around them. They were being carefully monitored to see how they would respond.
The zinnias told me tales of red lettuce that had been there shortly before them, and how it’s wrinkly, sprawling, purple leaves looked ill under the pink fluorescent light.
They told of the most undignified procedures being carried out - like plants having had their roots examined! And as if that wasn’t humiliating enough, these roots no longer grew downwards, but rather, wildly in every direction imaginable. How absurd!
They’d heard rumours of plants that had been kept in the dark for so long, they didn’t know what way was up. They were confused and growing in all directions.
I spoke to the zinnias and told them not to panic for I was trying to find help for us all.
They didn’t seem too concerned but they were able to tell me that a new space human is due to arrive in the next few days – some boyo called Tim Peake!
Well, we’ll have to see what he’s like!
Okay, okay – so my mistake!
The panic’s over – you can relax now.
It turns out that:
-The strange space humans are actually astronauts!
- This isn’t an alien space ship I’m on, it’s the International Space Station (wow!), and
-I haven’t exactly been abducted after all – I’m actually up here in space helping out in a very important experiment that will advance the frontiers of human knowledge and maybe one day even help man go to Mars!
How do I know all this? Well – I’ll tell you!
I’d made it my mission to check out that Tim Peake.
Since his arrival on the space station I’d been keeping a close eye on him and following him around and it turns out - he’s actually a real gentleman.
Just a few days ago, he was rummaging through the storage panel where cousin Argy and all my other seed friends have been kept. He lifted out a few packages and I thought - ‘oh no, the torture’s about to begin - he’s going to start experiments on them!’ But instead, to my surprise, he set up a video link.
I listened carefully to glean what I could and that’s when it all started to make sense.
Peake was sending a message to earth and he started by introducing the seeds! Yes - the whole 2kgs of us Rocket seeds.
He explained how we’re all part of a big experiment called Rocket Science, which is aiming to find out if seeds like us will be affected by the weightlessness of space and how we will grow after spending time here.
So really, I feel just great, although sadly it turns out - I don’t have a super power after all, for up here in space everything can float.
As Peake was talking he kept letting go of the packet to let it float and spin for a bit before he would catch it again – I bet that made them all feel dizzy. Te he!
Major Peake was still explaining important stuff and I probably, really should have been listening much more carefully, but I suddenly remembered about the little hole I’d made in the package.
I couldn’t help but imagine what would happen if it split open! I pictured hundreds of seeds spilling out and meeting microgravity! They’d all be floating everywhere, swarms of them all over the place and Peake would be chasing round, trying to gather them all up again!
Anyway, after all that excitement, I decided to go and pay the little zinnia plants a visit again and let them know what I’d discovered.
When I got there I couldn’t believe it – they were blooming marvellous! Literally!
Their little buds had produced the most magnificent daisy-like orange flowers and their little faces looked happy.
So it looks like you don’t have to worry about that rescue mission after all, but thanks for all your efforts anyway.
Who would ever have thought I would end up doing such a splendidly important job?
Life in my new space home is amazing!
I love it here.
I’ve been floating about for so long I hardly even realise I’m doing it now – it just seems normal.
Would you believe our space station orbits earth 16 times every day – so that’s a lot of sunrises and sunsets that we see.
Watch out for us – you can sometimes see us from earth when we’re passing over – I’ll wave!
I’ve seen the craziest of things here on board –
Like Astronaut Scott Kelly playing ping pong with a swirling ball of super-squidgy stuff.
And would you believe it - it was water! A little springy ball of water, float-bouncing up and down when Kelly hit it with waterproof paddles!
He explained that on earth, gravity pulls water down – you know - so it spurts out your taps and into your sink or cups or even over your little brothers and sisters should you happen to squirt it their way - by accident of course!
Well in space it’s not like that. Here the water all pulls together and floats in mid-air like a ball!
It was a pretty amazing stunt, so much so, that a month later I saw Peake sneak a go at it too!
And then there was the day a gorilla got on board! No, I’m not pulling your leg!
Peake had just loaded a new bag from a resupply ship into the lab.
I was imagining what wonders it might contain when suddenly to my horror, a gorilla barged out and started float-chasing poor Major Peake around!
‘Oh no, it’s finally happened,’ I thought, ‘the space air has got to my head - I’ve flipped!’
But after a bit the gorilla ripped its own head off and underneath was astronaut Scott Kelly, laughing raucously at his little lark.
Kelly had decided we needed a little more humour up here, so with the help of his twin brother Mark back on earth, they pulled some strings at NASA and got the gorilla delivered.
‘Go big or go home!’ he said.
What a guy!
It’s been a month since I watched Major Peake pull on a space suit and venture through the air locks out into space. He was on a daring five hour spacewalk - a mission to carry out repairs to our space station.
Can you imagine trying to work in a clumsy space suit, while hanging onto the outside of the space station 250 miles above earth as your hurtling along at 17,500 miles per hour! Yes, that’s how fast we go - 10 times faster than a bullet!
The mission was cut short when Peake’s fellow astronaut Tim Kopra noticed a leak in his helmet but they still completed their task - replacing a failed electrical box.
When they came back on board I caught a strange waft - a metallic smell - the smell of space.
The crew are always busy. Mostly they’re doing experiments or exercising. Peake is even training to run the London Marathon in space.
They also snap photos, do gardening and make all sorts of videos and phone calls to earth.
Watching England play Scotland in the 6 Nations rugby match was amazing. The game had been beamed up especially for us to watch live.
The view from our windows is breath-taking. Earth is spinning below us - a tapestry of watercolours and textures. I’ve seen rusty velvet deserts and silky blue seas and vast white ribbons of ice and snow.
Behind us, the inky blackness of space is so deep and dark you feel it could swallow you up.
Last night as I drifted off to sleep mesmerised by all I’d seen, I realised I was missing cousin Argy and all my other rocket seed friends. I decided I’d better go back and visit them and tell them what’s going on and all about this amazing space station.
Diary of an Abducted Space Seed by Debbie McKelvey / Actions & Adventure / Science Fiction have rating 3.3 out of 5 / Based on40 votes