Central Perk On 5th & OIympusBritt DeLaney / Fantasy / Humor
Central Perk On 5th & Olympus
Copyright 2015 Britt DeLaney
I’d like to give a special thank you to Gary Dreslinski, for roping me into LiveJournal Idol and encouraging me to hang on for dear life.
Central Perk On 5th & Olympus
The coffeehouse was mostly empty, it being mid-day. Lunch rush was long over, and no one was ready yet to pick up a latte for their commute home. The few inhabitants were stragglers, mostly writers and students looking to get out of the muddy snow in a warm place with free Wi-Fi. They shared the seating area with an odd pack of misfits who seemed completely out-of-place even though they were regulars.
Not that they were odd looking, mind you. In fact, every one of them was blessed with supermodel good looks and physiques to match. It was more in the way they carried themselves, as though they should be owning the place instead of sitting in it. As though they should be owning the city, or maybe even the world.
Truth is, they did once. But that was a long time ago. Today, they only wanted coffee.
"And I'm saying, it's a rip-off! Like they couldn't use the word 'God' because of its negative religious connotations, so they subbed in 'Superhero' instead." The big man was angry, his nostrils flaring over the top of his Mocha-Spice half-caff latte.
The woman beside him rolled her big, brown eyes. "They weren't ripping anyone off, Ares. Creativity is something they're known for. And not all superheroes have special powers - look at Batman."
"THE Batman," he corrected.
"Whatever." She delicately stirred two packs of Splenda into her coffee, setting the spoon on the napkin in front of her. "I'm just saying, there are certainly comparisons, but I don't know if I'd claim they stole the idea. Even before we came along, they were finding things to worship and exaggerate over."
"You should be honored," said an elderly Asian man. "To be remembered in any form is a true blessing, conferred only upon the Gods and treasured ancestors."
"Oh, drink your Chai, Zhang. I'm just saying we did it first, and we did it better." Ares was in a good huff now. It didn't take much to get him ruffled, as usual. "Apollo! Turn your freaking hair down, will you? The glare is killing me!"
Apollo looked up from his laptop, slightly perturbed. "You know I can't help it."
Ares raised a brow. "Surfing porn again?"
"I am not!" Apollo answered, affronted. "I'm just happy because I got over 400 upvotes on Reddit this morning for my picture of the giant bunny wearing a diaper."
"You are such a geek." Ares finished his latte with a snort of disgust. He slammed his cup down and reached for his blueberry crumb muffin, just as the tall, muscular blonde man next to Apollo said, smugly:
"I get to be a God and a Superhero."
"Thor!" chided the brown-eyed woman. "We just got him calmed down."
"You got something to say about that?" growled Ares.
"Maybe I do." Thor looked more bored than annoyed.
"Why don't you get your good buddy Captain America to come fight with you?" Ares sneered. "Maybe you could borrow a leotard."
"Captain America", snorted the woman. "Like he was here first."
"Now who's getting pissy, Heloha?"
"I'm just saying, I'd like a word with Stan Lee, making a white guy Captain America."
A woman with flowers in her hair and a colorful dress stood up from the far end of the table.
"I would like a word with him also."
"Oh, stuff a sock in it, Pele," said Apollo, looking up from his laptop. "You weren't even part of America when Captain America was first written."
Pele sat down with a disgruntled sound and began picking at her fruit salad.
"At least we all have God-like powers to write about," observed Apollo. "You should be grateful, Ares. You could have been born like Baldur."
"I heard that!" said a sing-song voice from a cozy chair near the window. He closed his magazine, staring pointedly at those around the table. "And what, pray tell, is wrong with being 'born this way'?"
"I wouldn't consider being known as "Baldur the Beautiful" to be a point of strength." Ares smirked as he stuffed the entire muffin into his mouth.
"Well, that's the classic interpretation. I'm more like Baldur the Fabulous now! And it's working for me and I get what I want and you can just kiss my amazing, glowing ass." He opened his magazine back up with a snap, dismissing them all thoroughly.
"C'mon, guys, let's get out of here," said Heloha. "I hear there's a sale at Williams-Sonoma in the mall. We have to get hostess gift for the party tonight."
"Oh, crap. I forgot about that," said Ares, shoving a hand through his hair. "Do we really need to bring anything? He's not a woman, after all. Will he even notice if we don't bring a 'hostess gift'?"
"He most certainly will," Baldur interjected. "And don't think I'm going to help you pick it out this time after the nasty remarks you just made. My feelings are hurt."
"Oh, c'mon Baldur, I'll kiss you under the mistletoe!" Ares made loud, smacking noises with his lips.
Baldur stood up with a flounce. "Have I told you? You look positively vulgar in leather." He tucked his magazine under his arm and headed out into the cold, shooting a disdainful glance over his shoulder as he left.
"Do you have to piss everyone off?" asked Heloha. "We really could have used him at the mall, you know. He's got a real flair for picking gifts." She gathered up her purse and headed over to throw her cup in the garbage.
"That Jesus and his dinner parties," Ares complained, getting to his feet. "Ugh! He always bills them like they're the greatest thing ever. 'The Last Supper!' Like it's some kind of major event every time he does it." Ares tossed down one more muffin, the crumbs falling out of his mouth and leaving a trail behind him as they headed for the door.
"Oh, humor the guy," Heloha said. "He didn't get much in the way of superpowers. Like Baldur."
"I'll go because the food is usually good, but if Vishnu starts getting in my face and giving me that 'Talk to the Hands' bullshit again, I'm out of there."
He held the door for Heloha, waiting a moment to see if anyone else was joining them. Apollo was glowing contentedly, and Pele appeared to be sunning herself in it. Thor was quite enjoying the view of her bodice as she leaned into the heat, and Zhang, well, Zhang was sitting in a state of pure zen, sipping tea like he always did, the placid bastard.
Ares waved them all off, stepped through the door and out to the sidewalk where he was promptly splashed with icy water from a passing car. His roar was drowned out by a sing-song voice, echoing from down the street:
"Guess you shouldn't have worn the le-a-ther!"
"Fuck you, Baldur! Batman wore leather!"
"THE Batman," smirked Heloha, earning her a glare from Ares. "Hey, isn't that Jesus over there at the Dollar Store?"
Ares glanced over his shoulder. "Looks like him. Probably shopping for tonight. How cheap can you be?"
Heloha rolled her eyes. "You know how he is."
"Yeah, I know. Jesus saves." And with a stiff middle finger at Baldur, Ares grabbed Heloha's hand and stomped off for the mall.
About the Author
Britt DeLaney is a seasoned professional blogger and a former winner of LiveJournal's "Live Journal Idol" writing contest. Her work has appeared in anthologies, magazines and feature spots on numerous online outlets. In her spare time, she writes steamy Fanfiction and eats too many Pop-Tarts. She is currently writing her ass off.
Other Books by Britt DeLaney
Eight Nights At Sea
Zephyr Jamieson is a sarcastic and sexy pirate captain, sailing the seas of a magical realm. He encounters a beauty named Rina, a woman with a body that sets him aflame and a secret that she cannot tell. Rina barters passage aboard Zephyr’s ship for herself and her secretive twin brother with the only thing the pirate captain appears to be interested in. Can eight nights at sea lead to more? Or will her secret tear them apart? This book contains strong, detailed sexual content and is not suitable for readers under 17.
Sky Woman: Book One of the Seeder Saga
Miranda "Miri" Reynolds was a fun-loving college student until she found herself transplanted to another world, as part of a cure to a genetic issue that's been plaguing the planet for over a century. After a rocky start, she's given refuge by a family of three gorgeous and determined brothers, all of whom have their eye on the beautiful "Sky Woman." When a secret is revealed that makes Miri a target, will the brothers of Falenua house be enough to protect her? And will Miri be able to overcome her own misgivings about their culture and find happiness - and love in - her new home? This book contains strong, detailed sexual content and is not suitable for readers under 17.
Rain in the Moonlight: Book Two of the Seeder Saga
Ajan is a Hunter, hired to another planet by the ruler of the mountain people to find and capture the leader of an opposing faction. His plans go awry when he encounters Rain, a rebel woman from the river valley who stirs him in dangerous ways - even though she seems intent on killing him. His people are known for their high sex drives and strong, primal reactions - Ajan isn't sure if he will he be able to control himself around Rain long enough to bring his target in. When secrets are revealed that make him question his mission, he finds himself working alongside Rain to get to the bottom of an interplanetary mystery that will change everything between them. This book contains strong, detailed sexual content and is not suitable for readers under 17.