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     Holy Emotions

       Vincent de Paul
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Cold Love

It’s years since I met you.
I began by counting days
then months, now it’s years
I care of nothing anymore
Except hoping against hope
One day you’ll come back to me.
Since the very first day I saw you
Life has been a fight
to change you beyond all reckoning
and make you see I really do love you.
I think of the transient moments between us
Reminisce of the stolen times
Moments restricted only to the phone
And wish I could repair them,
Wish I said the right things.
I hate my delusional heart
the things I said
when I came with my naive heart
to you, my favourite winter love;
What’s gonna thaw that ice
Packed around thy heart
If my love won’t?
Holy Emotions

I was afraid and guilty of sin
I was corrupting an innocent mind
that day I met you.
That day I met you
my heart leapt with divine joy
that a soul as gentle as you was created
for I was to escape
from the stinging slum of hypocrites.
If it were enough to sit without words
what do you think I wouldn’t have told you?
How I wished you would just go away
Never to come back again!
I should’ve listened to your plea then
I should have known right from the start
mine were just holy emotions.
Since that day
I just feel,
I count on the words we shared
Deep down they burn like fire
Knowing that I love you
Yet you can’t
I ought not to feel that way
Men of the cloth don’t
Theirs are holy emotions.
War of Love

I am a fighter but I don’t fight
I’m besieged,
I wasn’t prepared for this war
Yet I realise I must fight
Be in the battlefield
And risk losing
Than those who lurk behind.
When you were about to lose
I thought I was about to win
But yours was deception;
You ensnared me
And I lost the war,
Yet I’m in the battlefield
Won by those who lurked behind.
Now I find myself alone
At the end of my wits
I can’t fight any more
I’ve lost the war
Yet I’m in the battlefield
Won by those who lurked behind;
You’ve shattered my will to fight
Lost you to another lover
Lost this war of love
But I promised;
Now I wait as I promised
Yet I know I lost the war a long time ago.
Lost in Love

I used to think
I was in love
But now I know
Love never came my way
It’s one big illusion.
I’m not in love
Yet I want to fly like a dove
I feel I am in love
Yet I know I’m not in love
Only to realize I do love
There’s no need to run from love.
I thought I had met her
the only girl I ever knew
but now I know
Girls never ever came my way
It’s an illusion
I was lost in love
But can’t run from love.
The Quest

Seven years now since then
I have lived in pain
Seven years before you walked out
I couldn’t believe you would
Seven years I have tried my best
To make this work
Seven years of loneliness
I couldn’t stay without you
Seven years in a quest
To look for one like you
Seven years I’ve found none
Getting those who can’t afford to be seen.
Seven years later I’m back
this my humble request
please, bury the past.
My last thread of hope: I put my faith in you
If you’re fighting with yourself, stop fighting
I must accept maybe you’ll not return
But I want to end this quest
Maybe I should learn how to live on my own
But with love that I’ve kept for you
It’s true from my fruitless quest
You are one in a million.
Crazy About You

Just a touch and there’s no way back
Can hardly believe it
I could feel this way
For anyone;
Just a kiss and there’s no way back
There’s a feeling inside me
Making me go crazy.
This feeling is real
When I lie on your bosom
I feel more than at home;
You open up my heart
To love you more and more
It’s all I want to do.
Every time you touch me I melt away
Oh babe, can hardly believe it yeah
I could feel this way for a lifetime
Every time you touch me
It’s all I want to do
Every time you kiss me
I feel melting away
Burning my heart
Going crazy about you.
(For Liebichen)
First Kiss

With no hope of reaching you I write to you
I hope you will hear my silent voice,
I want to break that ice packed around your heart;
I am a victim of overwhelming nostalgia,
I want to go back to that day, my dear
That day all hell broke loose;
Apologize for whatever happened
‘Coz of my desire for the desire of my lips
The longing and desire for that first kiss
That kiss so brusque yet lasts forever,
That kiss I madly craved for but never got
That kiss that made you walk out the door.
How was I to know, you never told me?
Every day I had been waiting, longing
every day I had desired, yearning
Languishing to taste the lips of my desire
if you could see my inside that day...
If I had any goodness I lost it that day
I desired the first kiss, the kiss I never got.

Sitting up in my room
Wondering what’s gonna become of me
Bobby Womack’s on the radio
Singing to me
“If you think you’re lonely now”
I think of “We Belong Together”
Wait a minute this is different
Akon picks up saying...
“Can’t believe I had a girl like you
And I just let you walk out of ma’ life…”
I must say it, babe
I’ve never been so lonely in my life;
Everything I look at
everything I touch
the air around
where you used to do your hair
Reminds me of what used to be
The emptiness of everything
Reminds me of how lonely I am
Tells me that I threw it all
And that’s why I am lonely.
Sitting up in my room
Hoping against all hope
That I’m not lonely but alone
Yet I know it’s not true;
What then? I threw it all
and there’s nothing I can do.
I know you said it’s over
All I want you to know is
you truly loved me babe
and I just let you walk out
I’m so lonely...

In Love

It just happens
Once in a lifetime, or so they say,
That feeling we all desire
When the scent of romance smells
And the glory of beauty on you shines
Something as intense and joyous
Yet sorrowful as love is aroused
It seems proof like no other
That nothing exists but the joy of love
You are not living but are alive
You become a singer of rhythm of love
You believe you fly with wings of a dove
That’s when you know you are not in love
But you’re in love, and you love it.

Crime of Love

A mastermind you are my love
the most wanted for crime of love;
You robbed me of my heart
And so far away you ran my love.
Efforts so futile are mine
to take you down
I keep on missing you
despite my marksmanship…
I miss and love you, my love.
As long as the world goes round
I long to live not to be astound
to find you no longer lust for my love to gorge
my love for you is as hot as blacksmith’s forge.

I Love You

In a strange world full of strangers;
Love couldn’t be found from any other
Oh darlin’
Verily from the deepest of my heart
Entrenched like no other
You’ve to hear it all, I Love You
Oh thou who’s sent from above
Unscathed shall it in me live this love.
I Watched Her Leave

I listened to her recede from our love nest.
When she’d given me the Miss Dump treatment
A heart’s fruit of a holy love rejected
That love I have always had it dejected
Christ, my soul has never been so dark
Heartbroken, into the silver love sea sun sank
Everything within me came to a standstill
Death of a love I’d thought it never will.
Hours later her silent voice in me echoed
Ethereal reality of it overwhelmed mine heart
Realms of once sweet life seemed so cruel.
Like an artillery salvo she had startled me
Especially by her cold silence
And then I watched her figure shimmer away;
Vexed since I’d done nothing wrong
Everything now has turned to mere nonentity.
At Last We Met

Past to me was that fateful day
when I watched her walk away
and could do nothing to make her stay
not that I did not do my best
to make her come back
For it was in vain, I had to rest.
Still forlorn, not accepting the reality
I continued to send her flowers
Yet she did nothing hurt me
Throwing all what I gave her back at me
Made it clear it was over.
Three months later I met another one
a real beauty, love at first sight
I moved on, my healing heart aflame
I loved her, and she loved me
then along came
the one who’d walked away.
“Take me back to the arms I love” was her belated request
She wanted to stay, never to walk away
But my heart was somewhere else to stay
And nothing was gonna lead me astray
For eight months she begged and begged
At last we met ...
The willowy girl I once loved had evolved
Her beautiful Bantu face obscured by fat
Her beautiful eyes swimming in her face
Her deer neck contours of dancing flesh
Fat hanging in gilded dewlaps under her arms
Her skin bracelets around her wrists
So elephantine she waddled apart to walk
I could see why she couldn’t walk away anymore
I’d promised love no matter what anyway...
First love never dies or so they say
I loved her, still do, and will love her always
But now we just can’t be, I know she won’t stay
for love.

I’m Not an Angel

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