Holy emotions, p.3
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       Holy Emotions, p.3

          
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For it was in vain, I had to rest.

  Still forlorn, not accepting the reality

  I continued to send her flowers

  Yet she did nothing hurt me

  Throwing all what I gave her back at me

  Made it clear it was over.

  Three months later I met another one

  a real beauty, love at first sight

  I moved on, my healing heart aflame

  I loved her, and she loved me

  then along came

  the one who’d walked away.

  “Take me back to the arms I love” was her belated request

  She wanted to stay, never to walk away

  But my heart was somewhere else to stay

  And nothing was gonna lead me astray

  For eight months she begged and begged

  At last we met ...

  The willowy girl I once loved had evolved

  Her beautiful Bantu face obscured by fat

  Her beautiful eyes swimming in her face

  Her deer neck contours of dancing flesh

  Fat hanging in gilded dewlaps under her arms

  Her skin bracelets around her wrists

  So elephantine she waddled apart to walk

  I could see why she couldn’t walk away anymore

  I’d promised love no matter what anyway...

  First love never dies or so they say

  I loved her, still do, and will love her always

  But now we just can’t be, I know she won’t stay

  for love.

  I’m Not an Angel

  Baby don’t you be so mean

  I tried to keep everything clean

  Trying to be ever so discreet

  Not to be like the man on the streets

  But lemme explain myself

  Talk about living together sure we will

  But for now you’ve to know

  I am not an angel.

  I’m not an angel,

  I’ll tell you how

  Everything has got to be real slow

  There’s no one but us in this show

  Promise to let no one else know;

  Ever since we parted that day

  And we went our separate ways

  I couldn’t remember to forget you.

  In my heart you lit a light

  I fell in love, first sight

  danced like a dervish

  to my surprise you don’t feel the same

  you fill me with shame

  though I am not an angel.

  You say you can’t love

  I know you’ve no other love;

  But just because I serve at the altar

  That does not make me an angel;

  Babe, you’re my star

  Let me be your night time.

  Dovetail your hand into mine

  Let’s disappear from this vicarage

  To the love nest that’s waiting for us

  Make my head swirl

  I wanna make you twirl

  Make your body whirl

  For I am not an angel.

  The Holy Trinity of Love

  There are times alone you will be left

  Rain of tears make your eyes drier

  Unperturbed by doubt, baby, remain you

  Stand your firm even in the wildest of storms

  Thine comes thy love with love though sleekest.

  Solemnly shall be thine lost moments

  Honey, no more pain in your veins shall seeth’

  All days thereafter shall be like the mimosa

  Roses and violets adorn you forever

  Every time you kiss and do things in love.

  Together, hand in hand, in the streets strut

  Remember to each other sweet words whisper

  Understand the life of the one who lives in you

  Thou hast done all what thy sleekest thine heart

  Hail the Holy Trinity of Love; Trust, Share, Truth.

  Rage

  I am a victim of overwhelming nostalgia

  How I hate the thought of those days;

  Memories so bitter yet sweet.

  That day on your head I put a diadem

  in the kingdom of my heart crowned you queen.

  On my head you put a crown

  The ritual made me king—

  I have reigned for quite so long Your Highness

  Yet today I seethe with this feeling, rage.

  I search my broken heart day and night

  For a vestige of what I once felt for you

  I am sorry to say I find none

  All along I have lived with the pain

  Of the betrayal of the love I had for you.

  I thought I was your king

  yet I was a lackey my reign;

  love songs you sang for me

  behind my back you made me a clown

  I was the first king to carry the queen’s fan.

  You said you’ll take me for better n’ for worse

  On my sick bed you refused to be my nurse

  You ran away never to come back

  I knew better than to chase after

  You used to smell like a rose, sweet as honey

  You now stink, sour as vinegar;

  O babe, I’m not vengeful, I hate you like poison

  I must say I’d be mad, to love you again

  I lost patience puddin’, detest your trivialities.

  Florence Merab

  Friendly in a manner likely to suggest I LOVE YOU

  Legendary words of great joy yet immense sorrow

  Odd passions and feelings insidiously revolting

  Randy you left me my favourite heartbreaker;

  Elegant in all manner yet intricate and crafty

  No man could resist your inner beauty.

  Chilly nights and freezing mornings came and went

  Ever wanted me to leave you alone.

  Magically I dreamt and hoped it’d happen one day

  Excellent blossoming of this love I ought not sought

  Raddled have I grown chasing after you floreo

  Amusing I learn you’re not Florence

  Babe, your love was not meant to Florence and Merab.

  The Last War

  O my God, O no, please …

  Eyes transfixed on her face

  Dreading of something to happen

  Her eyes dilated, fluttering

  She making soft gagging sound

  O my God, please no, oh no!

  Her body moved suddenly

  The body fighting the soul

  The soul fighting the body

  Body and soul fighting the Angel o’ death

  O my God, please no, oh no!

  The struggle coming to me

  “Babe, I’m here with you

  You wanted to see me

  My love, I’m here, talk to me,”

  She had desperately wanted me there

  to tell me something

  something she never told me

  then she wanted nothing at all …

  (Curse death the senseless fiend12th March, 2011).

  The Obsequies

  Every new day is old day

  I see the afterimages so funereal

  Of the disturbingly peaceful day

  Azure skies overhead

  Whence my love’s put to rest.

  Friends and relatives were there

  Mourning the passing of a kin

  Sorrowful for losing a friend

  Debilitated by her passing

  You never know how much you gonna miss.

  At the sight of the casket

  My heart filled, eyes waterfalled

  Then the choir began to sing

  Sadness and loss overwhelmed me

  ‘ve never felt lightheaded.

  Dear, dearer, dearest Me-Luv

  My love and best friend

  Flesh of my flesh

  and bone of my bones

  my body and soul

  All gone without warning.

  (Merab, your death was

  the greatest tragedy).

  Rest in Peace, My Love

  What a hapless fate

  an untimely tragedy,

  I never sigh o’er the loss;

  I ever curse the senseless fiend

  for the loss o’ my love, best friend.

  Never more on my comfy chest

  she’ll rest her head

  nor wrap me in her embrace.

  I shall forever mourn her demise

  Never shall I be myself.

  Her smile, the jokes

  her laughter, the flute voice

  the games we played

  the gentle tap, loving touch

  Stolen by the brutal death.

  I think of the promises

  the plans for the future,

  Path is wide and rough

  I have no faith anymore

  She ain’t by my side.

  Never more by me she’ll sleep,

  Forever empty is the bed

  Living in my head;

  never more on me she’ll sit

  Her favourite seat

  I will never see her more.

  Goodbye’s the hardest thing to say

  Not this—I shall live in denial

  Rest in peace, Tsoniella, Sonia

  Sam loves you, forever I promised

  Wish you had left me Maribel.

  About the Author

  Vincent de Paul is the author of the 2010 Nairobi International Book Fair Literary Awards winning collection of poems, First Words, and other poetry collections—Holy Crimes, (love poems) and Flights of Poetic Fancy—and a collection of flash fiction stories, Flashes of Vice series. His poetry has been published in an anthology of new age African poets; Black Communion (Poems of the New Age African Poets) published by Artbeat Afrika, a society of contemporary African writers and poets, which aims to showcase the new African writer’s and poet’s talent and work to the world; and Through the Journey of Hope (2016) by the Writers Guild, Kenya.

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  First Words

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