The Making of Jammy Dodger

       Duncan Leigh
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The Making of Jammy Dodger
By Duncan Leigh
Copyright 2016 Duncan Leigh
Smashwords Edition
Smashwords Edition License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to or your favourite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Cover illustration by James Cavanagh, aged 8
For superheroes everywhere
The Making of Jammy Dodger
With the rising sun came a new threat to Planet Earth. It was the best of days; it would become the worst of days. Evil Emily had decided that, today, she would unleash her Cuddly Entourage of Terror upon the world. Slowly, surely, she had amassed her army of teddies and it lay primed, ready for the order. From bedroom to playroom across the land, innocent furry toys had been recruited, turned by the sucked-thumb touch of Evil Emily. Yes, it had taken some time for the touch to spread, over the mountains and across the seas, but at last the waiting was over. Today was the day. There would be no stopping her now. Soon, her sweet tooth would be satisfied for good…
Wonder Will sat on his bed with his hands behind his head. He sighed and reflected upon the trials and tribulations of superhero-dom. For sure, it was pretty good to have super powers and he had enjoyed the fame and excitement brought by his ability to perform fantastic faceplants. Indeed, he had used his powers to great effect and for the common good, thwarting the Evil Em on more than one occasion, as she tried to wreak havoc through her awful music (repeat play of Katie Perry's 'Eye of the Tiger' had been halted by a well-directed faceplant to the stereo - TTTHHWACK!) or incessant, hypnotising cartwheeling (planting his face repeatedly against the doorbell had woken everybody from the boredom-induced trance - SPLAT! - BBRRIINNGG! - SPLAT! - BBRRIINNGG!). On the flip side, the years of smashing his face against hard objects and surfaces had taken their toll on his once boyish good looks. If he was honest with himself, he didn't know how many faceplants he had left in him. At the same time, it troubled him that Evil Emily had gone into hiding. He knew that she was up to something but he couldn't be sure what it was.
"James, give me the latest situation report, please."
"Well, Wonder Will, I'm still looking for a normal Romelu Lukaku but I've had four shinies of him now so Sam said he'd swap me... "
"Don't be a fool, James. I'm not interested in your Match Attax cards; I'm a superhero and have little time for trivial matters such as football. What's the latest on The Evil One? She's been far too quiet."
James was Wonder Will's trusted sidekick, his brother in arms in the fight against Evil Emily. Once, they had all been so close, like all siblings should be, until the thumb-sucking had gone off the scale. Lovely Emily, as she had been known back then, had been wooed by the dark side. She had chosen to isolate herself and indulge in her filthy little habit. The solitude and darkness had consumed, corrupted and twisted her against those who tried to stand up for basic cleanliness and sound personal hygiene. How she detested them! How they would pay once the Entourage of Terror had been woken!
James dropped his Match Attax cards and conducted a quick reconnaissance of the upper levels. He found that Will took this superhero business a little too seriously at times but he felt he should do what his older brother asked. He also knew that, if he was going to become a superhero himself one day, he'd have to get used to the idea of serving others. "There's nothing to report, Will. All is quiet."
"I don't like it." replied Wonder Will, "She's up to something." He thought for a moment and added, "How's your chin?"
James had experienced faceplants of his own, at the hands of Evil Emily. These had been faceplants of the involuntary kind (though that is another story). When she was close, or active, the pink scar on his chiselled chin would burn horribly, like an early warning system.
"Nothing." he said. "Not a sausage." James reached for his cards. He'd done some good swaps at school that day and had some filing to do. He wanted to get it done before bedtime; he found it quite fiddly.
James sat bolt upright in bed; his scars were stinging and he wanted to itch them or dip his head in a bucket of water. He was distracted by the landing light flashing, rhythmically on and off, through the gap at the bottom of his bedroom door. What was going on? Clearly, Wonder Will's hunch was proving to be a sound one - Evil Emily was up to something. With fear pounding in his chest, James wanted nonetheless to satisfy his curiosity and do his duty. This was a test, he knew, on his journey to becoming The Jammy Dodger.
He reached for the door handle and opened his bedroom door…
"Will! Will! Wake up!" James cried, "The toys… They're marching!"
And they were. Rank upon rank of Evil Emily's cuddly toys - The Entourage - were making their way out of her bedroom, across the landing and down the stairs. Dolls, teddies, and an awful lot of fluffy lambs, all stared forward blankly with glassy eyes and their arms outstretched.
"Yes! Yes! It's my Cuddly Entourage of Terror!" shrieked a voice that James found only too familiar. His chin burned red hot and it was clear that Evil Emily had woken from her slumber.
"March, my beauties! March!" Evil Em's fearsome silhouette, complete with witch's hat from the costume box, stood in her doorway.

Wonder Will appeared at the far end of the landing, his hands on his hips. The light from the bathroom cast a long shadow across the carpet and the furry ranks, announcing his superhero status.
"I knew you were up to something, Evil Emily!" he shouted. "The game is up!"
"Ha ha! I don't think so, fat face! There's nothing you can do to stop my army now!"
"We'll see about that, Evil One!" Wonder Will rolled up his dressing gown sleeves and prepared to execute one of his trademark faceplants, right in the middle of the advancing cuddly toys. He raised his arms and was just about to dive on the giraffe and the penguin, who looked particularly dangerous, when he froze.
"You've got Bunny!" he gasped.
"And my Scruffy Wuffy!" cried James.
"No toy has escaped my sucked-thumb touch!" Evil Emily cackled. "Go to your windows and look outside, if you don't believe me. Look at my creation! Look at your doom!"
The boys ran to their rooms and pulled back their curtains. The street was filled with cuddly toys, countless waves of them, all plodding zombie-like past the house. As they watched, more toys spilled out from their neighbours' front doors and stepped down garden paths, into the masses under the streetlamps.
"It's the same all over town! It's the same all over the county! The country! The world!" The cackling continued, "Soon, all of the world's sweets will be mine!"
"So, you've brainwashed these good toys, with your sucked-thumb touch, to steal sweets and bring them back to you?"
"All of the sweets, Will, all of them. And the chocolate too! And you can have none!"
"What about me Em?" enquired James.
"No chance you squirt!"
"We've got to do something!" James yelled.
"But what?" asked Wonder Will, "It's a pretty good plan, you have to admit."
"You can't do anything, fat face! And nor can your snivelling sidekick. Your pathetic faceplants can't stop my Cuddly Entourage of Terror!"
"You don't have to do this, Emily!"
"Oh but I do."
"There is good in you still, and in these toys. I can feel it."
"It's too late - there's nothing to stop me now!"

"Wait a minute, wait a minute..."
"What is it Will? What are you doing? Are you... Are you thinking?" James asked, incredulously.
"Not only that, Jammy," James loved it when his brother called him that, "I might actually have come up with... an idea!"
"No way!"
"Yes way, my Match Attaxing friend."
"Well, what is it? We've not got much time."
"OK. Listen, Jammy. Do you suck your thumb?"
"Only at bedtime."
"So how did you stop during the day?"
"Well, I just decided that I wanted to be a big boy and a superhero."
"Yes, you did, brother, yes you did. And do you know what you used to help you stop?"
"Er, that paint on stuff that smells and tastes disgusting?" James wrinkled his nose.
"No! You used will power, dummy. You used WILL POWER."
"Er, did I? So?"
"Don't you see? Evil Emily has no Will Power; that's why she sucks her thumb. It's even worse when she's tired."
"I'M NOT TIRED. I'M NEVER TIRED!" Emily screeched.
"She might have taken control of these toys, using her nasty sucked-thumb touch, but we can break that spell with positive energy. I know we can."
"Will Power?"
"Will Power."
"But how can we generate enough Will Power to stop this lot?"
"Quick Jammy, there's no time to lose. Open your window."
"What? Are you suggesting that we..."
"Yes, Jammy, there's no alternative. A double faceplant from the first floor window. It's our only hope."
"But I don't think I can. It's a long way down, Will."
"The grass is soft and muddy. This is your time, Jammy, do you want to be a superhero or not?"
"But I'm only 8 years old, Will, and I haven't filled even half of my Match Attax folder yet."
"DO YOU WANT TO BE JAMMY DODGER?!" Will cried and raised his arms above his head. "3 - 2 - 1 -
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