Dani's Shorts 6

       Dani J Caile / Humor
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Dani's Shorts 6

(A collection of short stories based on the elements from The Iron Writer Challenge)

Volume 6


Dani J Caile
Dani's Shorts 6
Dani J Caile
Smashwords Edition

PUBLISHED BY: Dani J Caile on Smashwords

Dani's Shorts 6
Copyright © 2016 by Dani J Caile

Smashwords License Statement

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

All Rights Are Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locale or organizations is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © Dani J Caile 2016
Table of Contents
Preface / Acknowledgement
Challenge 137
Challenge 140
Challenge 141 - 2015 Winter Open Prelim
Challenge 142 – 2015 Winter Open Final
Challenge 145
Challenge 151– 2016 Winter Open Prelims
Challenge 152 – 2016 Winter Open Final
Challenge 160
Challenge 162 – Prelim Spring 2016
Challenge 170
Grudge Match 15
Challenge 177 - Summer/Autumn 2016 Prelim
Challenge 179 - 2016 Annual Final
Weekend Quickie 139
Weekend Quickie 140
Weekend Quickie 141
Weekend Quickie 142
Weekend Quickie 143
Weekend Quickie 144
Weekend Quickie 145
Weekend Quickie 146
Weekend Quickie 147 (Christmas Specials)
Weekend Quickie 148
Weekend Quickie 149
Weekend Quickie 150
Weekend Quickie 151
Weekend Quickie 152
Weekend Quickie 153
Weekend Quickie 154
Weekend Quickie 155
Weekend Quickie 156
Weekend Quickie 157
Weekend Quickie 158
Weekend Quickie 159
Weekend Quickie 160
Weekend Quickie 161
Weekend Quickie 162
Weekend Quickie 163
Weekend Quickie 164
Weekend Quickie 165
Weekend Quickie 166
Weekend Quickie 167
Weekend Quickie 168
Weekend Quickie 169
Weekend Quickie 170
Weekend Quickie 171
Weekend Quickie 172
Weekend Quickie 173
Weekend Quickie 174
Weekend Quickie 175
Weekend Quickie 176
Weekend Quickie 177
Weekend Quickie 178
Weekend Quickie 179
Weekend Quickie 180
Weekend Quickie 181
Weekend Quickie 182
Weekend Quickie 183
Weekend Quickie 184
Weekend Quickie 185
Weekend Quickie 186
Weekend Quickie 187
Weekend Quickie 188
Weekend Quickie 189
Weekend Quickie 190
Weekend Quickie 191
Weekend Quickie 192
Weekend Quickie 193
Weekend Quickie 194
Weekend Quickie 195
Weekend Quickie 196
Weekend Quickie 197
Weekend Quickie 198
Weekend Quickie 199
Weekend Quickie 200
Weekend Quickie 201
Weekend Quickie 202
Weekend Quickie 203
List of Elements Challenges 131-179 (Annual Final 2016), Weekend Quickies 139-203 (including 2015 Christmas Special (147-158))

Preface / Acknowledgement

This is perhaps the last collection of Iron Writer Challenge Short Story Fiction I will publish. Due to life and other writing related issues, I wasn’t able to write the challenges out every week, though to my credit, I never missed a Weekend Quickie – who would?
This collection includes all the Weekend Quickies and challenges I did write up, from Challenge 131/Weekend Quickie 139 onwards, all the way to the 2016 Annual Final (Challenge 179, October 2016). A list of elements for all challenges and WQs are listed at the end of this collection for those wishing to ‘have a go’.
I hope you enjoy what you read – whether it’s in this collection… or some other book…

Iron Writer Challenges

Challenge 137

Elements – Genre:Sci fi. An image of a angel-carrying-a-child statue, a bag full of owl feathers, a 2000 year old person and end with :When the Indians (American) captured prisoners, they always gave them to the women to kill.

An Eye for an Eye

Xantus wiped the green blood off his hands and spat at his defeated captive.
"Not much of a fight, Swifty. Next time, suit up. If there is a next time." He'd done his duty, put two and two together to get an eight foot green Meethan from Zenith VI. The reply 'bag of owl feathers' may have fooled the uniforms doing spot checks but Xantus knew who had decimated the Southside's flock of Solaque whores, or 'angels of love' as locals called them. They were known halfway across the galaxy for their caring, sensitive and thoughtful side, and business was always good down at the den. But tonight, someone or something had murdered and mutilated a large number of them, escaping with their precious plumage. As Xantus tied up the infamous Meethan known to all as Swifty, he glanced over at the city park's angel-carrying-child statue and knew exactly what to do. The punishment would fit the crime.
"And what? I'm your prisoner! Do your worst!"
"I will." Xantus grabbed the Meethan by the neck and pulled him along the street, listening to the degenerate growl and curse. "You know, Swifty, I've been around. Two thousand years. I lost count at nineteen hundred, but I'm sure I'm not shy of two triple-o. Well, in all those years I've lived, on all the planets I've stalked, there was this race, this one race of men. Yes, Swifty, an ancient race of my own kind, a race called the Native American Indians of the Conquered States. They were a proud breed, a breed of warriors, dreamers, they loved their life, their home..."
"Who gives a shit about some dead humans! Shut your mouth and do what you have to do!"
"Oh no, you're not getting away with it that easily, Swifty." A quick headshot was the preferred punishment for this crime. Unfortunately, Meethans could fake death and nothing other than tearing them apart was fatal. Detective Inspector Xantus dragged the monster across the walkway, back into the Solaque whores' den, back where the deranged green cretin had perpetrated his crime. These 'angels of love' were not only known for their capacity to care.
"What... what are you doing?" Was Swifty cottoning on?
"Well Swifty, with all their wisdom, with all their connection to nature and fellow creatures in life, there was one thing those Indians knew best, and that was how to make you hurt."
"I can handle any pain you whip out, pig! Just get it over with!" Xantus pulled the Meethan to the edge of the pleasure pit situated in the centre of the main floor, a pit filled with clipped Solaque whores, hungry for vengeance with claws extended, teeth at the ready. "What? What are you doing? Shoot me!"
He pushed the tied Meethan over the edge, watching the grisly carnage for a few moments before leaving. You could hear Swifty’s death screams for miles.
"When the Indians captured prisoners, they always gave them to the women to kill."

Challenge 140

Elements – image of spaceship in the snow, crashed with Santa’s sleigh, how?, why? A Christmas present

A Bad Idea

Dave the computer tracked the little red dot on the display showing Earth. “This is a bad idea, Grey.”
“What? You always say that. Next you’ll be telling me ’47 was a bad idea.” Grey looked over at the main console. “Twenty kilometres and closing.”
“No one in the faculty’s going to believe you did this, they’ll say you photoshopped it. And ’47 WAS a bad idea,” said Dave, slowing the Light Drive as they closed in on their target.
“What part was a bad idea?” asked Grey, checking his iPhone. “These devices are expensive but still the best in the galaxy.”
“We crashed, Grey,” replied Dave.
“And? We got away, didn’t we? Left them to make up some lame excuse. Worth the effort, if you ask me. See?” He showed his iPhone to Dave’s console camera.
“You got lucky.”
“Luck? Ten kilometres. Look, Dave, this is a chance of a lifetime,” beamed Grey.
“You said that when we crashed,” muttered Dave.
“Do you know how rare it is to catch this guy out and about? He only flies one night a year. And then you’ve gotta be in the right orbit at the right time,” explained Grey. The red dot on the display was moving west. He got himself ready on the starboard side sofa.
“It’s too risky, Grey, we could be seen,” said Dave.
“And what? Go on youtube, this ship’s everywhere!” Grey tutted.
“Don’t do it, Grey,” warned Dave.
“Five kilometres, getting close. Dave, this is my big chance. It’s my last tour in this sector,” he whined.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” They were above the large landmass called the USA. The red dot was now a little red line moving across the display.
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